by Sierra Marlee | June 15, 2017 7:41 pm
I’m all for teaching kids that strangers shouldn’t touch them, especially inappropriately, but this is just going too far.
Moms are now asking INFANTS for permission to pick them up as a way to “#endrapeculture.” You know how you know if a baby wants you to pick it up or not? It will cry. If it cries, it doesn’t want to be held. Otherwise, assume that, as an infant child that cannot transport itself from one area to another, it wants to be picked up.
This crap started with Nisha Moodly, who posted a photo of her and her son on Instagram with an explanation of her “parenting technique.”
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Since the moment he was born, we've always asked before we pick him up. I always feel for his "yes". Why? Because we want him to know that his body is his, and that others' bodies are theirs, and no one gets to make choices about someone else's body. . #lessonsinsovereignty #bornfree #endrapeculture . Sidenote: If you ever want to hold someone else's baby, my suggestion is to ask the parent, then ask the kid. It always touches my heart when someone takes a moment to connect with him and says "Can I hold you, dude?" . ADDENDUM: Thanks to everyone who has shared support & also those who don't agree, but are thoughtful & respectful. Unfortunately, hundreds of people have come here to call me nasty names & wish terrible things upon myself & my child. I'm not interested in engaging with that kind of immature, thoughtless vitriol; if you bring it, I will report + delete. I pray we learn to meet our fellow humans w/ curiosity & kindness. . This short post was followed by a 10 min interview with a very kind reporter, which was turned into a short article. It wasn't designed to be a piece of in-depth journalism. Most media isn't. A whole bunch of other media spun-off from that. I have spoken w/ no other reporters; no one has asked me questions or checked facts. . Some have assumed that I'd never touch my baby w/out his explicit consent. That's not what I'm saying. I love my son – I would never sit back & leave him in harm’s way. It’s my honor & responsibility to care for him in all the ways a mother would. . I also talk to him, ask him questions, and “attune” to him in the way that I think the majority of mothers do, intuitively. This is the beginning of a lifelong conversation about choice & consent. I believe that when children feel that they have *some appropriate* choice, it leads to a greater sense of healthy autonomy. I want him to make healthy choices with his body & respects others’ as well. . I am by no means saying that people are bad parents for not doing what I do. So long as we're not harming or neglecting our children, to each their own. I'm not a perfect parent. I'm simply working at being as loving & conscientious as I can be, every day.
Since the moment he was born, we’ve always asked before we pick him up. I always feel for his “yes”. Why? Because we want him to know that his body is his, and that others’ bodies are theirs, and no one gets to make choices about someone else’s body. #lessonsinsovereignty #bornfree #endrapeculture Sidenote [sic]: If you ever want to hold someone else’s baby, my suggestion is to ask the parent, then ask the kid. It always touches my heart when someone takes a moment to connect with him and says “Can I hold you, dude?”
Babies are not objects. Babies are not accessories. Babies are not things. That being said, infants cannot speak. Yes, they have a modicum of autonomy, but until they are fully grown, parents are expected to make certain decisions for them.
All this is, is a breakdown of the family unit in America. Soon babies are going to be seen as independent of their parents and that will lead to all kinds of problems. Nobody holds a baby if they don’t want to be held. Parents do everything they can to avoid making their children uncomfortable, but this is just ridiculous.
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