Divorced guy gives advice to his ex-wife’s new lover — and he’s dead right

by Rachel Alexander | September 27, 2015 2:50 pm

[1]If you could give advice to the next person to date your ex-spouse, in order to give their relationship the best chance of success, what would you say? You’d warn them about all the things you screwed up on, so they don’t make the same mistakes.[2]

Quirlycues has a wonderful letter such an ex-spouse wrote for that purpose, which says in part,

She’s terrified of spiders. So when you’re out late with friends and she texts you freaking out because there’s one on her window, please go kill it. She won’t sleep otherwise.

She is a total textbook introvert. She won’t reply for hours and sometimes you won’t see her for a week. You will take this personally. Don’t. She’s simply taking care of herself and she’ll tell you how much she missed you while she was away.

She’ll get very jealous. My god, she gets so jealous. Those brown eyes will turn a deep green. She hates that about herself, and she doesn’t mean to do it. Remember, she loves you. Reassure her that you love her too.

On that topic, she needs constant reassurance. Tell her you love her and mean it. If you can’t do that, leave. She deserves more than that.

There will be nights when she goes out and drinks a little too much. She’ll call you to bring her home. When you do, she’ll try to keep you up all night by tickling you and repeating “I love you and I’m sorry I’m annoying.” She’s not annoying. But make sure she has plenty of water and don’t let her pass out until she drinks it, or she will be miserable in the morning.

She is the most independent woman I know. But she’s so insecure, it still breaks my heart. So when she starts an argument with “you don’t love me.” Do not get upset. Remind her you do and the reasons why. She’ll come around.

There is more to the letter along the same lines. Basically, this guy is giving other guys insights into how some women think. Towards the end, he admits, “Losing her is a pain you will never shake. Your world will come crashing down on you and those pieces won’t ever fit the way they used to. Don’t let her go.” What do you think happened, did he mess up the relationship and wish he hadn’t? Or are we being fed a ruse — was this really something written by a woman to train men?