by John Hawkins | January 7, 2003 9:50 pm
Is After-School Detention A Human Rights Violation?: You may not believe this, but the following Paragraph appears in the Independent, not on a satire website like The Onion or Broken Newz
“After-school detention for pupils has been banned in hundreds of schools across Scotland amid fears that the punishment could be in breach of human rights.”
Snicker, snicker…but it gets better =D
“The move is in response to a lawsuit filed by a 15-year-old girl who claims the detention she received while a pupil at Speyside High School in Aberlour, Banffshire, seriously disrupted her education and violated her human rights.
…The teenager, who is being represented by Cameron Fyfe, one of Scotland’s leading civil rights lawyers, claims that repeated detentions disrupted her education and prevented her from attending school until her teachers and headmaster agreed in writing to respect her civil rights.”
Imagine if this spread to the US. I can just see Johnny Cochran standing in a day care center somewhere going, “My client lost 10 minutes of his life in “time-out” because he allegedly said Tommy Barnes was a “poopiehead.” Well, I’ve met Tommy Barnes, and if any five year old could accurately be called a “poopiehead”, it’s him. We don’t want to have to take this to a court of law so my client has agreed to settle if you’ll take him to Chuckie Cheese tonight, let him stay up an hour late, and pay the $500,000 in lawyer’s fees he owes. I’ll give you ten minutes to think it over…”
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