Men In Pointy Toed Shoes

by Melissa Clouthier | December 8, 2008 9:56 am

Being in the fashion center of the universe (well outside of Paris), I observed a couple things: New York women wore scant make-up and hauteur in equal measure. And they wonder why they are single? Ladies, if you’re over 30, you need a little help. Black continues to be THE color in New York. Anyone wearing a pastel is viewed with suspicion. Finally, some, not all, men are wearing pointy shoes.

Like wide ties, curly perms, and powder blue tuxedos, pointy shoes are going to fall into the category of what-the-hell-were-we-thinking? Watching a grown man trip down the sidewalk in court-jester shoes made me giggle. And these style mavens were soooo serious, dahling. Just to clarify, I’m not talking shoes like this[1], these dress shoes are part of the sartorial arsenal of boring professional men everywhere. No, I’m talking about this[2] and ew, these[3].

Have men become a nation of effeminate elves? The shoes curl up at the point. It’s embarrassing for women to wear those sorts of shoes. On men, it takes all of the fore-brain evolution to suppress the primal urge to laugh and point.

Ir you’re a stylish guy, fine. Still, you risk derision if you become a slave to fashion that is patently ridiculous (pardon the pun). And another thing, most men have wide, serviceable feet. (They also have legs, which, according to Ann Althouse, should be covered[4]. Me? I like a nice turn of the calf, but at a certain age, the legs need to be covered, always.) Wide feet and pointy shoes don’t mix. Why even try?

Pointy toed shoe[5]

Even if you look like James Dean, pointy toed shoes on a man scream sissy. Stop the madness men. And don’t get me started on eye-liner-wearing men. Help us all! We’ve become a nation of vacuous, pubescent girls.

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  1. like this:
  2. this:
  3. these:
  4. Ann Althouse, should be covered:
  5. [Image]:
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