by John Hawkins | February 6, 2003 1:19 am
U.N. Security Council Sets Conditions for Invasion By Scott Ott: (2003-02-05) — After U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell’s compelling Presentation of evidence that Iraq is violating U.N. sanctions, the Security Council passed a resolution authorizing the use of force if the following qualifications are met:
–Multiple independently-targetted warheads are launched from Iraq toward any nation but Israel.
–Thousands of civilians in a U.S. city begin keeling over from the effects of poison gas and Saddam Hussein personally claims responsibility for the attack.
–Saddam Hussein is photographed sitting astride a plutonium tipped ICBM with the words “To Russia, with Love” painted on it.
–Iraqi military officers are photographed launching a ship laden with clearly marked canisters of Sarin or VX. The bow of the ship must bear the words “Slow boat to China”
–Photographs prove that Iraqi SCUD missiles, bearing biochemical agents and emblazoned with the words “The French Connection,” are about to be launched.
If you liked this satire by Scott Ott, you can see more of his work at Scrappleface.”
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