Al Jazeera Tops CNN As ‘Most Trusted’ Among Terrorists By Scott Ott

by John Hawkins | December 2, 2004 12:18 am

CNN today fell behind al-Jazeera TV, becoming only the second most trusted news source among Islamic terrorists ages 12-to-49. The slip was triggered by a Los Angeles Times[1] story that the Atlanta-based Cable News Network had reported Pentagon “psy-ops” misinformation as fact before the liberation of Fallujah.

“We don’t put too much stock in the polls,” said an unnamed CNN executive, “Our Iraqi insurgent viewers know where to go to get accurate strategic and tactical news day in and day out. And our advertisers know that there’s no better buy than CNN if you want to reach the demographic group we call YAFIs–Young Aggressive Fundamentalist Islamists. They’re well-funded, passionate, risk takers and they make the cash register ring.”

An Al-Jazeera spokesman downplayed the significance of its new “most trusted” ranking.

“We don’t like to get into the camel-race aspect of the news business,” said the source. “We’re all objective journalists trying to report the facts as we see them. Unfortunately, we all have to rely on the U.S. military for information about troop movements and battleplans.”

If you enjoyed this satire by Scott Ott, you can read more of his work at Scrappleface[2].

Endnotes:
  1. Los Angeles Times: http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-warinfo1dec01,0,321180.story?coll=la-home-headlines
  2. Scrappleface: http://www.scrappleface.com/

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