America Vs. The Giant Bat Menace

RWN reader Jim in Texas writes:

“When I saw the cover of this old comic book, I immediately thought of Rightwing News and made a couple small (of) changes to retcon it into this far future 21st Century where we live in our current continuity, :)”

Immediately, I knew this had to go up on RWN because it paints such a fascinating picture of the future.

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Granted, the giant, glowing-eyed bats and the enormous, over sized skull in the corner are a little scary. But, the gigantism could be caused by some sort of advance in genetic engineering gone wrong. You know, we’re feeding the world with giant cows and hogs and unfortunately there was a leak and next thing you know, giant bats. But, who knows? Maybe that was intentional because the bats are actually tasty? Granted, they don’t look so hot, but you broil them for 30 minutes at 450 degrees and throw a little hot sauce on them and maybe they’re actually delicacies. Certainly if we can eat sushi, octopuses, and turtles today (Yes, I am so country that I’ve eaten turtle), we can eat giant bats in the future.

The other thing that sticks out is the clothing. The guy isn’t wearing some Star Trek uniform, he’s dressed like a Cowboy and when you think Cowboys, you think…that’s right baby, the United States of America. Obviously, Americans are still alive and kicking in the future, but who knows about the rest of you? Maybe the other animals are as big as the bats and we were the only country that could handle them militarily. I mean, let’s face it, there is no country in the world better prepared to go to war with giant animals than the United States. Heck, I have relatives who hunt bears and deer with bows as it is. You think they’re sweating giant bats? Yeah, right!

As a man, it’s also comforting to note that really short skirts and sexy boots haven’t gone out of style either. Of course, we must wonder: is that what she normally wears or did she wear that outfit because she knew she might need to be rescued later in the day? I mean, if a woman needs to convince a man to risk being eaten by a giant bat to save her, wearing a clingy outfit and showing a little leg can’t hurt.

But in any case, if this comic book is right and the giant animal wars do come, we here in America have all the guns and short skirts we’ll ever need. Can non-American countries say the same? I think not!

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