by John Hawkins | July 11, 2003 10:53 pm
Bush To Personally Verify Future CIA Reports By Scott Ott: In an effort to make sure all of his public statements are accurate, U.S. President George Bush said today that he will personally verify all CIA reports before using them publicly.
“I regret that I didn’t go to Niger to check out that uranium sale to Iraq story,” said the President. “Today I deputized myself as an agent in the CIA. I’ll go on deep-cover missions, onto foreign soil, sometimes behind enemy lines to verify all crucial information.”
An unnamed Democrat Congressman praised the President for his decision.
“It’s important that the President speak only when he has first-hand knowledge,” the source said. “He needs to emulate the impeccable record of Congress in this regard.”
If you enjoyed this satire by Scott Ott, you can read more of his work at Scrappleface.
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