by John Hawkins | June 21, 2005 5:49 pm
Sen. Dick Durbin, who recently compared U.S. personnel at the Guantánamo Bay terrorist-detention facility to Nazis[1], took the Senate floor today to slam U.S. troops in Iraq for their “progressive poisoning” of the imprisoned Saddam Hussein with snack foods.
The Illinois Democrat’s criticism follows published reports[2] that the former Iraqi president sometimes eats an entire family-sized bag of Doritos in 10 minutes.
While Doritos contain no trans-fats, eating such a large quantity at a single sitting subjects Mr. Hussein to high-levels of salt and puts him at risk of acute salivary-depletion syndrome, Mr. Durbin said.
“In our name, these junk-food jailers have loaded up Saddam with non-nutritive calories, thereby tarnishing our nation’s reputation in the Muslim world,” the Senator said. “President Hussein is locked up in a horrifying high-sodium slammer. No wonder the insurgents attack our troops.”
This satire was used with the permission of Scrappleface[3].
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