Durbin Decries Saddam’s ‘Junk-Food Jailers’ — Satire By Scott Ott

by John Hawkins | June 21, 2005 5:49 pm

Sen. Dick Durbin, who recently compared U.S. personnel at the Guantánamo Bay terrorist-detention facility to Nazis[1], took the Senate floor today to slam U.S. troops in Iraq for their “progressive poisoning” of the imprisoned Saddam Hussein with snack foods.

The Illinois Democrat’s criticism follows published reports[2] that the former Iraqi president sometimes eats an entire family-sized bag of Doritos in 10 minutes.

While Doritos contain no trans-fats, eating such a large quantity at a single sitting subjects Mr. Hussein to high-levels of salt and puts him at risk of acute salivary-depletion syndrome, Mr. Durbin said.

“In our name, these junk-food jailers have loaded up Saddam with non-nutritive calories, thereby tarnishing our nation’s reputation in the Muslim world,” the Senator said. “President Hussein is locked up in a horrifying high-sodium slammer. No wonder the insurgents attack our troops.”

This satire was used with the permission of Scrappleface[3].

  1. Nazis: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/06/16/AR2005061601500.html
  2. published reports: http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/meast/06/21/saddam.guards.ap/index.html
  3. Scrappleface: http://www.scrappleface.com/

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