Edwards Drops Out, Now It’s Kerry vs. Kerry By Scott Ott

by John Hawkins | March 3, 2004 11:59 pm

With John Edwards expected to announce his withdrawal from the presidential race today, the contest for the Democrat nomination narrows to two men — Sen. John Forbes Kerry, D-MA, and Sen. John Forbes Kerry, D-MA.

“I think we’re going to see them go at it hammer and tong until the convention,” said Terry McAuliffe, chairman of the Democrat National Committee. “We couldn’t hope for two men who offer more contrast; the war hero vs. the peace protestor, the wealthy husband of an heiress vs. the assailant of the privileged class. One backed the attack on Iraq, the other opposed it. One voted for the USA Patriot Act, the other denounces it. One supported the president’s ‘No Child Left Behind’ education plan, the other is harshly critical of it.”

Mr. McAuliffe said his main job as party chairman over the next six months is to “keep the two John Kerrys focused on attacking President Bush, rather than sniping at each other over character issues.”

If you enjoyed this satire by Scott Ott, you can read more of his work over at Scrappleface[1].

  1. Scrappleface: http://scrappleface.com/

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