Edwards Has Plan to ‘Drive Up Cost of Doing Terrorism’ By Scott Ott

by John Hawkins | July 7, 2004 12:02 am

With the war on terror top-most in the minds of American voters, Democrat vice presidential candidate John Edwards today announced his plan to “drive up the cost of doing terrorism.”

Mr. Edwards, who like Senate colleague John Forbes Kerry supported[1] the presence of American troops in Iraq by opposing funding of that presence, said that as vice president he will ensure that the U.S. government sues every terror group whose faulty ideology results in injury or death.

“Terrorism is not a war issue, it’s a legal issue,” said the first-term Senator, who built a fortune as a trial lawyer. “It’s just another defective product that hurts ordinary people. If you sue the maker of the product–tie ’em up in court for a few years–you increase their cost of doing business and jeopardize their ongoing operations.”

If you enjoyed this satire by Scott Ott, you can read more of his work at Scrappleface[2].

  1. supported: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A30640-2004Jul6.html
  2. Scrappleface: http://www.scrappleface.com/

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