Fox Launches Right-Wing Weather Channel By Andy Borowitz

by John Hawkins | July 15, 2004 11:37 pm

Takes Aim at Liberal Bias in Weather Coverage

Fox today launched the first right-wing weather channel, taking aim at what it perceives as a liberal bias permeating most television weather coverage.

In it first day on air, The Fox Weather Channel trumpeted its self-styled “fair and balanced” look at the weather and accused The Weather Channel of being “a safe haven for left-wing weather-liberals everywhere.”

Blasting what it called The Weather Channel’s view that “the weather can do no wrong,” Fox Weather Channel anchor Bill O’Reilly vowed that the new network would “take on and challenge the weather at every opportunity.”

Mr. O’Reilly then launched into an editorial blasting Mother Nature, sarcastically calling her “The Mother of all Natures.”

Speaking in front of a graphic reading “The War on Weather,” Mr. O’Reilly began his weather report: “Flash floods hit the East Coast today, causing many to ask: why is Greenpeace trying to save the oceans, when the oceans are trying to kill us?”

The acerbic anchor then moved to a weather map of the United States, announcing, “Phoenix reported record low temperatures yesterday – so much for ‘global warming,’ Al Gore.”

Mr. O’Reilly concluded his weathercast by saying that there was a 30% chance of rain in Tampa and a 70% chance that weapons of mass destruction would be found in Iraq.

The network then switched to live footage of conservative pundit Ann Coulter screaming at a tornado.

In other news, Sen. John Edwards continued to surge in the polls, with a majority of Americans agreeing that Mr. Edwards is more beautiful than actress Catherine Zeta- Jones.

If you enjoyed this satire by Andy Borowitz, you can read more of his work at the Borowitz Report[1].