by John Hawkins | June 26, 2006 1:42 am
So, I’m cruising eBay, looking for wacky auctions and I struck gold in the form of a seller called enchanted_whispering. What’s so unique about her? Well, enchanted_whispering sells spells at between $14.54 and $36.39 a pop.
What kind of spells? Well, she has quite a range. According to one of her auctions, she can cast the following spells:
ATTRACT THE ONE YOU LOVE
BRING BACK (ENCOURAGE) A LOVERS RETURN
WIN A JOB
INCREASE YOUR PETS SAFETY
INCREASE HEALTH AND VITALITY
DISTANCE YOURSELF FROM UNWANTED LOVERS
ENHANCE LOVE AROUND YOU
AVOID BREAK UP/DIVORCE
INCREASE HAPPINESS AND CONTENTMENT”
Now, you’re probably thinking, “Surely no one is actually buying these spells.”
Certainly not….only 156 people! That’s right, she has 156 buyers who have given her feedback over the last 12 months. Let’s assume that all she has sold is spells and that the prices have stayed constant. If that was the case and she sold 156 spells at the lowest amount, $14.54, that’s $2,268. At the highest rate, $36.39 for 156 spells, she would have made $5,676. So, Samantha Stephens here appears to be making a pretty good amount of dough selling her phony hocus pocus….but that’s not the fun part!
Here’s the fun part: eBay allows customers to rank their transaction as positive, neutral, or negative. So, if let’s say you buy a toaster, and it gets there in great shape, two days later, then the seller gets a positive rating. On the other hand, if let’s say the toaster shows up two weeks later and it’s broken, the seller gets a negative rating.
Now, here’s the thing: there is no such thing as casting spells. You can have someone cast all the love spells you want to make Jennifer Anniston fall madly in love you, but it’s still not going to happen. You can cast wealth spells all day long, but you’re not going to turn into Bill Gates. So, you would figure that enchanted_whispering would have lots of negative ratings. Actually? She has none. Not a single, solitary, negative rating. Here are some of the comments from people who bought spells from her:
“lovely trustworthy seller as always..cant wait for the results!!”
“Thnks for helping me.. i know it will work, lets wait and see.”
“great communication, hoping spell will be successful, will be in touch xx”
“Spell worked, thanks”
“The spell has worked!!! Thank-you!!!”
“Very nice. Performed spell right away. We’ll see what happens….”
“She’s very sweet even did an extra spell for me for free , I see results already”
“The results of the spell casting is excellent! Thank you ever so much!!!”
“Really quick service. Need to wait 6-8 weeks for spell to work. Fingers crossed.”
Maybe it’s because I was a psych major, but I find this absolutely fascinating. Here are people buying a non-existent product online, not receiving the product (because it doesn’t exist), and yet they’re happy with it.
How can that be? I have some theories.
#1) They believe in magic and even if they don’t see any effects, they’re afraid of making a “witch” angry, so they’re reluctant to give a negative rating.
#2) They selected a spell like “lower depression” and because they believed it would work, it did.
#3) They selected a spell like a love spell, planned to ask a woman out, and when the woman said yes, they believe it was the spell, not them that made it work.
#4) This is the most complex one: they see themselves as a “person who believes in magic” and they’ve paid a price for it. Not only have they wasted time, money, and effort on it, their friends and family make fun of them for it. So, when they purchase a spell and it doesn’t work, they still believe in magic because they feel a great need to be consistent to maintain their self-image. They believed in magic with no real evidence those times, before, right? So, they feel a need to do so this time as well, rather than admit all those people who said they were nuts for believing in magic were actually right.
Whatever the case may be, the whole concept is bewitching…get it? Get it? Bewitching! Because she’s a witch and casting spells and….ah, never mind!
Bonus eBay Auction: I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU, NO MATTER HOW BAD DISGUSTING, UNETHICAL, OR IMMORAL.
Current price: $1
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