by John Hawkins | February 19, 2007 9:41 am
Have you heard the latest news about Britney Spears? If not, I think this just about sums it up:
Obviously, this is Britney’s way of crying for help. So, let me make a few suggestions…
Steps to get your life back together
#1) Stop drinking.
#2) Stop doing drugs.
#3) Stop hanging out with Paris Hilton.
#4) Consistently wear underwear.
#5) Don’t ever, ever, ever shave your head again!
#6) Hire an agency to handle your money, so that if you’re too much of a mess to ever sing again, you won’t end up on the celebrity edition of Big Brother some day.
#7) Endeavor to meet and hang out with some normal people who aren’t wanna-be rappers, leeches, starstruck fans, or Hollywood starlets in the making. Do some normal things. Go to church. Have lunch with your new friends at a local diner. Read a few books. Get your life centered again.
#8) Going to a nice long stint in rehab and seeing a psychologist wouldn’t hurt either.
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