In My World: Attack of the Belgians

by John Hawkins | June 23, 2003 10:58 am

In My World: Attack of the Belgians By Frank J: “There’s nothing better than a game of golf, is there, Agent Smith?”

“I wouldn’t know, President Bush,” Secret Service Agent Smith answered, “I’ve never played. I just stand here in the sun and watch you. Rather asinine, if you ask me.”

“Yep, nothing better than a good game of golf,” Bush said as he adjusted his cowboy hat, and then prepared for a swing.

“President Bush!” yelled out a voice.

Startled, Bush screwed up his swing, sending his ball into the brush. “Grrr!” Bush yelled, “Agent Smith, whoever just messed up my shot I want you to inject him in the neck with that stuff that makes it look like he had a heart attack.”

“That stuff ain’t cheap, sir,” Agent Smith reminded him.

“It was I who called out your name,” said a sinister figure, “Chief Floopergibble of the Belgian international police force.” More men in black uniforms emerged from the brush. “I, under the authority of Belgium, am placing you under arrest for lying about WMD’s and having an illegal war with Iraq.”

“Well, I guess we’ll have to go peacefully,” Bush said, dropping his golf club, “Wouldn’t make much sense to – KILL THEM!” Bush drew his peacemaker while Agent Smith drew his Beretta and they both started firing at the Belgians.

Nothing happened.

“What’s the matter?” Bush asked desperately.

“Apparently they’re too irrelevant,” Agent Smith answered, “Our bullets are going right through them in search of more substantive targets.”

“Dammit! Always when I’m finally making par.”

The Belgians closed in on them while laughing their evil Belginian laugh.

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