by John Hawkins | March 1, 2007 12:40 pm
(Someone sent this to me on MySpace and since it was funny and I hadn’t heard it before, I decided to run it.)
A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he
hears, Ribbit 9 Iron.”
The man looks around and doesn’t see anyone. Again, he hears, “Ribbit 9 Iron.” He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! He hits it 10 inches from the cup. He is shocked. He says to the frog, “Wow that’s amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?
The frog replies, “Ribbit Lucky frog.” The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole. “What do you think frog?” the man asks. “Ribbit 3 wood.” The guy takes out a 3 wood and, Boom! Hole in one. The man is befuddled and doesn’t know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, “OK where to next?”
The frog replies, “Ribbit Las Vegas.”
They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, “OK frog, now what?” The frog says, “Ribbit Roulette.” Upon approaching the roulette table, The man asks, “What do you think I should bet?” The frog replies, “Ribbit $3000, black 6.” Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game the man figures what the heck.
Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table.
The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the frog down and says, “Frog, I don’t know how to repay you. You’ve won me all this money and I am forever grateful.” The frog replies, “Ribbit KissMe.” He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it. With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl.
“And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room. So help me God or my name is not William Jefferson Clinton.”
Update #1: From StanW the comments section…
During his normal duties as Gate Guard for the White House, a Marine was approached by an old gentleman, wearing a weathered and worm Marine Corp uniform. The old man approached the guard and said, “I’d like to go in and speak with President Kerry.” The Marine Guard replied, “I’m sorry sir, but Mr. Kerry is not the President, George Bush is.” The old man thanked the guard and left.
The next day the same old man approached the same Marine Guard and said, “I’d like to go inside and speak with President Kerry.” The Marine guard replied again, “Sir, the President of the United States is George Bush. John Kerry is a Senator, not the President.” Again, the old man thanked the Marine Guard and left.
The next day, at the same time, the same old man, in the same worn uniform approached the White House gate and addressed the same guard. “I’d like to go inside and speak to President Kerry.” At this point, the Marine Guard said forcefully to the old man, “Sir, I told you yesterday, and I told you the day before, George Bush is the President of the United States. John Kerry is *NOT* the President. Don’t you understand that?” The old Marine looked at the young Marine and said, “Of course I understand. I just like hearing you say it.”
The Marine Guard snapped to attention, saluted the old Marine and said, “See you tomorrow, sir!”
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