Kerry Names Annan As Running Mate By Scott Ott

by John Hawkins | April 3, 2003 11:59 pm

Kerry Names Annan As Running Mate By Scott Ott: U.S. Sen. John Kerry announced today that if the Democrat party nominates him as the presidential candidate, he will name U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan as his running mate.

“This is the only way to heal the wounds America has inflicted on the world,” said Sen. Kerry. “I’ve likened our President to Saddam Hussein in calling for regime change[1] in the U.S., now I’m doing something concrete to fix America by making our government more like the United Nations. “

According to the U.S. Constitution, a vice president must meet the same requirements as a president, and a president must be a natural born citizen. However, Sen. Kerry said that the U.S. Constitution is an “old-fashioned” document since it assumes the U.S. is a sovereign nation.

“We’re working to change some of those antiquated provisions,” he said.

If you liked this satire by Scott Ott, you can read more of his work at Scrappleface[2].