Kill The Whales!

by John Hawkins | March 6, 2003 3:28 pm

Kill The Whales!: I’m not quite sure if this is a lefty trying to be sarcastic or someone on the right trying to be funny, but this email I just received from UncleKevin123456 of the “Plankton Solidarity Front” made me laugh either way.

“Dear Mr John Hawkins,

Thank you soooo much, my eyes are opened. I have just read the Rainforest article[1], I had never thought of it like that, and now I see it from that point of view can you imagine how foolish I now feel. After this my beard is shaved my sandals and wooly jumpers are for the charidee shops first thing tomorrow morning, I will never hug a tree again. I always had a sneaking suspicion that there was something malevolent about those trees, you know the way they just stand there with their branches and leaves just spread out all over the place, now I know the truth. And can you imagine what it would be like with Trolls and grandma impersonating wolves wandering around, I’m with you, the sooner these pesky trees are out of the way the better. When these are done I suggest we go after those plankton massacring nazis the whales, I mean we’re told that they are intelligent but when was the last time you saw a published thesis by A.Whale Phd, or a hit single in the charts? Well dont know about you but I’m still waiting. Remember the Plankton.

Yours Sincerely,
Plankton Solidarity Front.

  1. Rainforest article:

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