Mayor OKs Monopoly Money for ‘Gay Licenses’ By Scott Ott

by John Hawkins | February 17, 2004 7:09 pm

San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom today declared that homosexuals applying for so-called marriage licenses[1] at City Hall can pay the application fee with Monopoly money[2].

“For too long now,” said Mayor Newsom, “Monopoly money, and other counterfeit bills, have been treated as second-class currency. We are no longer captives to antiquated values based on majority opinions and legislation. Since I have power to override state and federal laws, I declare that Monopoly money is legal tender.”

A local jeweler in San Francisco immediately began advertising that his shop would also accept Monopoly money for his “full line of genuine pyrite[3] wedding rings.”

If you enjoyed this satire by Scott Ott, you can read more of his work at Scrappleface[4].

Endnotes:
  1. licenses: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4251510/
  2. Monopoly money: http://www.hasbro.com/monopoly/pl/page.treasurechest/dn/default.cfm
  3. pyrite: http://mineral.galleries.com/minerals/sulfides/pyrite/pyrite.htm
  4. Scrappleface: http://www.scrappleface.com/

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