by John Hawkins | September 16, 2004 5:18 pm
Famous brooding internet intellectual Joshua Micah Fauntleroy Mellencamp Heinz-Marshall (apologies to Ace) has put his finger on the root of John Kerry’s electoral dysfunction — inadequate slogans! — and solicits suggestions. We aim to please, Josh.
I Will Keep Our Enemies Guessing, Too
Projecting American Strength Through Intricately Complex Nuance
The Thinking Man’s Self-Confessed War Criminal
Vote For Me or My Running Mate Will Sue
Those Atrocity Stories? Dude, I Was Just Sh*tting You
I Will Do For You the Many Wonderous Things I Have Done For Massachusetts
Fear Not, America, I Have Deigned to Lead You
I Will Never Recuse My UN Ambassador from the Vote to Ask for a Permission Slip to Defend This Country
The Next Time America is Attacked, I Promise To Open Up a Carafe of [email protected]
Post-Emptive Leadership For A Safer World
I Have Three Words For George Bush — Bring It On
I Have Five More Words For George Bush — Call Off Your On-Bringers
Restoring America’s Seat At The Global Popular Table
Come Home Again, America… No Wait, Stay There Again
There Once Was A Man From Nantucket, If You Get My Drift
Some Look at Things As They Are And Say, ‘Why?’ Others Look at Things As They Are Not And Say, ‘Why Not?’, And I Suppose A Few Might Look at Things As They Are Not, And Say ‘Why?’, and Vice-Versa, and So Forth, And One Might Be Tempted To Look at These People Looking at Things And Ask ‘Who?’ But This Would Not Be Constructive, Because The Important Thing To Realize Is That Some People Like To Look At Things, And This Is Precisely My Point
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