Randy Crow For President?: Everyone

by John Hawkins | May 22, 2002 9:31 am

Randy Crow For President?: Everyone knows the Democrats are having a big problem finding a decent candidate to run against W in 2004. Despite the Democrats incessant, whiny, claims to the contrary, Al Gore was beaten fair and square by GWB even though he had 8 years as VP and a strong economy to run on. In a rematch Bush would be a huge favorite. Hillary Clinton says she isn’t going to run but I think she’s too far to the left to win even if she did. Daschle and Gephardt don’t have the charisma to be serious contenders. Edwards is largely unknown outside of NC and he’s making a lot of rookie mistakes lately that have to make you wonder if he’s ready to become a prime-time player on the national scene. We even have Democrats talking about trying to draft John McCain which probably wouldn’t fly with Democratic voters who would see him as far to the right of the other Democratic candidates.

But thanks to the guys at Something Awful[1] , the Democrats problems have been solved. SA discovered the page of “Randy Crow – Democrat for President 2004.[2]” This candidate is the one man who can take the White House back for the Democrats because he knows who’s really behind 9/11…

“The Omega Agency in my opinion is responsible for Sept. 11 and they are scared they are in the process of being caught as the real guys behind Sept. 11, and The Omega Agency does not want to get caught for more terrorism which will put a few more nails in their coffin for Sept. 11.”

He understands that Americans don’t want to be implanted with computer chips…

My latest Sept. 11 blow my mind occurred last night when I watched the movie Bait. A view of the World Trade Buildings in NYC was shown 4 times in the movie. The movie is/was a conspiracy theory movie in which the guy set up as bait was implanted with a computer chip, (Actually in the movie the guy gets a new jaw as the implant and in a real implant the implant is a tiny computer chip, in my opinion. In my case as unbelievable as it might sound I was manipulated to think I was having a heart problem and when I went to the hospital worried about my heart I think I was implanted with a tiny computer chip.)

and he knows the real truth about Saddam Hussein…

“Thank you for asking my opinion as to whether or not I feel Saddam Hussein is a US zioni$t CIA puppet? Certainly until I received your e-mail it never crossed my mind Saddam H. would be a CIA puppet but after some research and thinking, I believe I am in agreement with the educated Tunisian Arabs (it takes an Arab to know an Arab) your reporter lived, it is certainly looking as if Saddam is a zioni$t working for the CIA”

So vote Randy Crow in 2004. He’s the only man who can defeat the evil USA / zioni$t/ Omega Agency conspiracy!

Endnotes:
  1. Something Awful: http://somethingawful.com/
  2. “Randy Crow – Democrat for President 2004.: http://www.randycrow.com/

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