by John Hawkins | February 5, 2007 2:20 pm
“…(T)oday’s Republican Party stands for life, limited government and national defense. And today’s Democratic Party stands for … the right of women to have unprotected sex with men they don’t especially like. We’re the Blacks-Aren’t-Property/Don’t-Kill-Babies party. They’re the Hook-Up party.”
Madam Hillary also said the Bush administration “will go down in history as one of the worst that has ever governed our country.” While Hillary is certainly qualified to comment on what the all-time worst presidential administrations were, having had firsthand experience in one of them, I think she might want to avoid the phrase “go down in history.”
“Then this week, we found out Sen. Teddy Kennedy still belongs to an organization that doesn’t admit women. Oh — also, he killed a girl.
I’m fairly certain I’ve mentioned that before — I don’t recall, Mr. Chairman — but I don’t understand why everyone doesn’t mention it every time Senator Drunkennedy has the audacity to talk about how “troubled” and “concerned” he is about this or that nominee. I bet Mary Jo was “troubled” and “concerned” about the senator leaving her trapped in a car under water while he went back to the hotel to create an alibi.
It’s not as if Democrats can say: OK, OK! The man paid a price! Let it go! He didn’t pay a price. The Kopechne family paid a price. Kennedy weaved away scot-free.”
The “offense to Islam” ruse is merely an excuse for Muslims to revert to their default mode: rioting and setting things on fire. These people have a serious anger management problem. So it’s not exactly a scoop that Muslims are engaging in violence. A front-page story would be “Offended Muslims Remain Calm.”
“Hollywood can never do enough for the gays. Gays in the military, gays in the Texas Rangers, gays on the range. It’s like a brokeback record! As Pat Buchanan said, homosexuality has gone from “the love that dare not speak its name” to “the love that won’t shut up.”
“During the entire time this talented, intelligent, magnificently conservative black man (Claude Allen) held high positions in the Bush administration, he was mentioned in only 11 articles in The New York Times. (A small part of Times Executive Editor Bill Keller dies every time the paper is forced to mention any black top officials in the Bush administration. It might remind people that the most highly placed black in the Clinton administration was his secretary, Betty Currie.)
But since Allen was accused of stealing from department stores a few weeks ago, the Times has mentioned him in seven articles — including a major front page article on Monday, coverage more appropriate to the first moon landing. This makes Allen the first black alleged thief whose photo has ever appeared in the New York Times.”
“This is the only country on Earth that thinks it’s not sporting to consider our own interests in choosing immigrants. Try showing up in any other country on the planet, illiterate and penniless, and announcing: “I’ve seen pictures of your country and it looks great. I think I’d like to live here! Oh, and by the way, would you mind changing all your government and business phone messages, street signs and ballots into my native language? Thanks!” They would laugh you out of the country.”
“However the Duke lacrosse rape case turns out, one lesson that absolutely will not be learned is this: You can severely reduce your chances of having a false accusation of rape leveled against you if you don’t hire strange women to come to your house and take their clothes off for money. Also, you can severely reduce your chances of being raped if you do not go to strange men’s houses and take your clothes off for money. (Does anyone else detect a common thread here?)”
“The liberal charge of “hypocrisy” has so permeated the public consciousness that no one is willing to condemn any behavior anymore, no matter how seedy. The unstated rule is: If you’ve done it, you can’t ever criticize it — a standard that would seem to repudiate the good works of the Rev. Franklin Graham, Malcolm X, Whittaker Chambers and St. Paul, among others.”
“In no area except morality would a sane person believe he can’t criticize something stupid because he’s done it. How about: If you’ve ever forgotten to fill up your car and run out of gas, you must forevermore defend a person’s right to ignore the gas gauge. Or if you’ve ever forgotten to wear a coat in cold weather and caught a cold, henceforth you are obliged to encourage others not to dress appropriately in the winter. This deep-seated societal fear of being accused of “hypocrisy” applies only to behavior touching on morals.”
“I would be more interested in what the Democrats had to say about high gas prices if these were not the same people who refused to let us drill for oil in Alaska, imposed massive restrictions on building new refineries, and who shut down the development of nuclear power in this country decades ago.”
“Conservatives will continue to be threatened with prison on trumped-up charges until Democrats start having to worry about being prosecuted for minor offenses, too…”
“Bush has also apparently learned that the word “amnesty” does not poll well. On Monday night, he angrily denounced the idea of amnesty just before proposing his own amnesty program. The difference between Bush’s amnesty program and “amnesty” is: He’d give amnesty only to people who have been breaking our laws for many years — not just a few months. (It’s the same program that allows Ted Kennedy to stay in the Senate.)
Bush calls this the “rational middle ground” because it recognizes the difference between “an illegal immigrant who crossed the border recently and someone who has worked here for many years.” Yes, the difference is: One of them has been breaking the law longer. If our criminal justice system used that logic, a single murder would get you the death penalty, while serial killers would get probation.”
“If you want to find the cool, anti-establishment rebels who don’t answer to “The Man” on college campuses today, you have to go to a meeting of the College Republicans. They are rebelling against at least 99 percent of their professors. Even the original ’60s anti-war protesters were rebelling against at least 5 percent of their professors. Today’s college liberals ape the beliefs of 99 percent of their professors and then pretend they’re on-the-edge radicals.”
“Of course illegal immigrants will “work for less.” They don’t have to pay taxes at all now, and under Bush’s plan they will have to pay taxes for only — at most — three of the last five years. Not only that, but illegal aliens don’t require their employers to comply with OSHA regulations, overtime and minimum wage laws, unemployment insurance, disability laws, the Family and Medical Leave Act, a slew of oppressive environmental regulations, and 4 million other ways the government has developed to make it extremely expensive to hire legal employees. Instead of creating a separate class of citizens who are immune from oppressive government rules, how about relieving all of us — even us shiftless Americans — from the cost of government?”
The thesis of “Godless” is: Liberalism IS a religion. The liberal religion has its own cosmology, its own explanation for why we are here, its own gods, its own clergy. The basic tenet of liberalism is that nature is god and men are monkeys. (Except not as pure-hearted as actual monkeys, who don’t pollute, make nukes or believe in God.) Liberals deny, of course, that liberalism is a religion — otherwise, they’d lose their government funding. “Separation of church and state” means separation of YOUR church from the state, but total unity between their church and the state.
“Back when there were only three TV stations and no Internet, talk radio or Fox News, it used to be so easy for the MSM to destroy reputations — Joe McCarthy, Barry Goldwater, Richard Nixon, Robert Bork, Dan Quayle, Oliver North, Clarence Thomas, Pat Buchanan, Newt Gingrich, Paula Jones and Linda Tripp, to name a few of the MSM’s prey. Liberals aren’t having so much fun now that the rabbit has the gun.”
When is The New York Times going to get around to uncovering an al-Qaida secret program?
“Maybe treason ended during the Vietnam War when Jane Fonda sat laughing and clapping on a North Vietnamese anti-aircraft gun used to shoot down American pilots. She came home and resumed her work as a big movie star without the slightest fear of facing any sort of legal sanction. Fast forward to today, when New York Times publisher “Pinch” Sulzberger has just been named al-Qaida’s “Employee of the Month” for the 12th straight month. Before the Vietnam War, this country took treason seriously.”
“Thanks to The New York Times, the easiest job in the world right now is: “Head of Counterintelligence — Al-Qaida.” You just have to read The New York Times over morning coffee, and you’re done by 10 a.m.”
“It was nice to see The New York Times commemorating Independence Day this week with a tribute to its favorite Revolutionary War hero, Benedict Arnold. Times editor Bill Keller spent the day attending Revolutionary War battle re-enactments, where he passed the Continental Army’s secret battle plans to the British.”
“People have gotten so inured to ridiculous behavior on the left that they are no longer capable of appropriate outrage when something truly treasonous happens. It is rather like the rape accusation against Bill Clinton losing its impact because of the steady stream of perjury, obstruction of justice, treason, adultery and general sociopathic behavior coming from that administration. This is a phenomenon known in the self-help community as “Clinton fatigue” (not to be confused with the lower back pain associated with excessive sexual activity known as “Clinton back”).”
“Some have argued that Israel’s response is disproportionate, which is actually correct: It wasn’t nearly strong enough. I know this because there are parts of South Lebanon still standing.”
“There are only two choices with savages: Fight or run. Democrats always want to run, but they dress it up in meaningless catchphrases like “diplomacy,” “detente,” “engagement,” “multilateral engagement,” “multilateral diplomacy,” “containment” and “going to the U.N.” I guess they figure, “Hey, appeasement worked pretty well with … uh … wait, I know this one … ummm … tip of my tongue …” Democrats like to talk tough, but you can never trap them into fighting. There is always an obscure objection to be raised in this particular instance — but in some future war they would be intrepid! One simply can’t imagine what that war would be.”
“According to the Democrats, we can’t attack Iran until we have signed affidavits establishing that it has nuclear weapons, but we also can’t attack North Korea because it may already have nuclear weapons. The pattern that seems to be emerging is: “Don’t ever attack anyone, ever, for any reason. Ever.”
As some of us have been trying to tell you, Democrats don’t oppose the war on terrorism because they hate Bush: They hate Bush because he is fighting the war on terrorism. They would hate him for fighting terrorists even if he had a “D” after his name. They would hate Bernie Sanders if he were fighting a war on terrorism. In the past three decades, there have been more legitimate sightings of Big Foot than of “Scoop Jackson Democrats.”
“Assuming against all logic and reason that the Democrats have some serious objection to the war in Iraq, perhaps they could tell us which part of the war on terrorism they do support. That would be easier than rattling off the long list of counterterrorism measures they vehemently oppose.”
“The belief that we can impress the enemy with our magnanimity is an idea that just won’t die. It’s worse than the idea that paying welfare recipients benefits won’t discourage them from working. (Some tiny minority might still seek work.) It’s worse than the idea that taxes can be raised endlessly without reducing tax receipts. (As the Laffer Curve illustrates, at some point — a point this country will never reach — taxes could theoretically be cut so much that tax revenues would decline.) But being nice to enemies is an idea that has never worked, no matter how many times liberals make us do it. It didn’t work with the Soviet Union, Imperial Japan, Hitler or the North Vietnamese — enemies notable for being more civilized than the Islamic savages we are at war with today. By the way, how did the Geneva Conventions work out for McCain at the Hanoi Hilton?”
“It was this idea (Be nice!) that fueled liberals’ rage at Reagan when he vanquished the Soviet Union with his macho “cowboy diplomacy” that was going to get us all blown up. As the Times editorial page hysterically described Reagan’s first year in office: “Mr. Reagan looked at the world through gun sights.” Yes, he did! And now the Evil Empire is no more.”
“In fact, what Republicans objected to was Clinton’s transforming a U.N. mission in Somalia to prevent mass starvation into a much grander “nation-building” exercise — something the Democrats now hysterically support in Darfur and oppose in Iraq. Democrats long to see American mothers weeping for their sons lost in a foreign war, but only if the mission serves absolutely no national security objectives of the United States. If we are building a democracy in a country while also making America safer — such as in Iraq — Democrats oppose it with every fiber of their being.”
“The Democrats claim they want to treat terrorism as a criminal law problem, but when we give them an American citizen convicted of aiding terrorists — as happened this week — a Democrat judge gives her a slap on the wrist. Or he was going to give her a wrist slap until someone told him that wrist-slapping was banned under the Geneva Conventions, so he let the wrist off with a warning. Last year, a New York jury found Lynne Stewart guilty of helping her former client, Sheik Omar Abdel Rahman, communicate with his Egyptian-based group of murderous terrorists, appropriately known as “the Islamic Group.” This week, Judge John Koeltl — appointed to the bench by President Bill Clinton in 1994 — spurned the prosecution’s request for a 30-year sentence and gave Stewart 28 months for being a terrorist’s mule. Now she’ll clog up the criminal justice system with endless appeals for the next several years — using procedures that liberals also want for Guantanamo detainees.”
“The first time liberals had a kind word for the war in Afghanistan was when they needed to pretend to support some war in order to attack the war in Iraq with greater vigor. To get them to support the Iraq war, all we have to do is attack Iran.”
“The only way to get Democrats to focus on terrorists would be to convince them that the terrorists are interfering with a woman’s right to choose or that commercial jetliners exploding in midair are a threat to America’s wetlands.”
“History was made this week! For the first time in four election cycles, Democrats are not attacking the Diebold Corp. the day after the election, accusing it of rigging its voting machines. I guess Diebold has finally been vindicated.”
“The Democrats say we need a “new direction” in Iraq. Yeah, it’s called “reverse.” Democrats keep talking about a new military strategy in Iraq. How exactly is cut-and-run a new strategy? The French have been doing it for years.”
“Six imams removed from a US Airways flight from Minneapolis to Phoenix are calling on Muslims to boycott the airline. If only we could get Muslims to boycott all airlines, we could dispense with airport security altogether.”
“I think waterboarding should be a reward for Khalid Sheikh Mohammed: OK, you’ve been good, Mohammed, we’re only going to waterboard you today. Let’s get you out of those cold electrodes and onto a nice, warm waterboard, OK?”
It’s true that no one anticipated that al-Qaida sympathizers would stream into Iraq to fight the Great Satan after Saddam fled to a spider hole, but that’s because everyone expected al-Qaida to be fighting us here.
“Like “Peking,” that’s something else we can’t say anymore: the amazing absence of another 9/11-style terrorist attack in the past five years. The heart of the insurgency in Iraq is, by definition, composed of Islamic terrorists who hate the Great Satan, own an overnight bag and are willing to travel to kill Americans. But don’t worry: The Iraq Surrender Group feels sure they won’t come here if we pull out of Iraq.”
“The weakest members of the herd are rapidly capitulating, trying to preserve a modicum of honor by prattling about how if their plans had been implemented, Iraq would be in tip-top shape and our troops would be home for Christmas. Well, if my plans had been implemented, the anti-war crowd would be weeping about Iraqi civilian deaths so much they wouldn’t have time to pretend they gave a damn about the loss of American lives. But the plans that were implemented have deposed a monster, put him on trial — which resulted in his conviction and death sentence — killed rape hobbyists Uday and Qusay, presided over three democratic elections, killed al-Zarqawi and scores of other al-Qaida leaders fighting Americans in Iraq, and kept the U.S. safe from Islamic terrorist attacks for five years now. The least I can do is not capitulate to the left’s endless nagging.”
You can read all of Ann Coulter’s 2006 columns here.
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