Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden Bloopers, Bleeps and Practical Jokes By Marni Malarkey

To celebrate the capture of the Ace of Spades; Al Jazeera, in conjuntion with K-Tel, have announced that a collection of video and audiotapes featuring Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein will be offered for sale starting tomorrow via the internet.

The collection, entitled the “Death to America” series, is a “Best of” of Bin Laden’s and Hussein’s speeches, rants, invocations, incitements and hate-filled incomprehensible babblings and will retail at $199.99.

“It’s a great offer,” glowed Al-Leslah Moonvesbooba, CEO of Al-Jazeera. “Normally, if you bought all these speeches and videos and threats separately, it would cost you well over $1000. But we’re bringing them to you at a cut-rate and not only that, we’re offering you a gift if you purchase in the next ten days.” The gift is a video of Bin Laden and Hussein’s offscreen moments, bloopers, bleeps and practical jokes. Says Moonvesbooba, “On it you can see the world’s number one terrorist sending two dozen pizza with ham on them to devout Muslim Mullah Omar’s cave; you can see the crazy Iraqi dictator accidentally putting the wrong person through a shredder — whoops, sorry!; you can see Bin Laden beat his daughter senseless with a switch when he caught her watching what he thought was ‘Exodus’ but actually it turned out to be ‘The Hustler.’

It’s just hilarious.” Responding to criticism the collection was sick, twisted and a vile way to make money, Moonvesbooba said “balderdash! It’s a moment of distraction in a strife-ridden world. It’s the perfect gift for the insane Jihadist in all of us.”

If you enjoyed this satire by Marni Malarkey, you can read more of her work at Broken Newz.

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