Sharon Offers Talks on Suicide Bombing Quota By Scott Ott

by John Hawkins | January 17, 2005 12:08 am

Facing criticism for his move to” TARGET=”_blank”>negotiations[1] to set “appropriate limits” on suicide bombings.

Mr. Sharon even put an opening proposal on the table for a Suicide Attack Protocol which would limit Palestinian terror groups to a monthly quota of one bus explosion in a crowded marketplace and two border checkpoint bombings while negotiations continue to establish a peaceful Palestinian state side-by-side with Israel.

“We want to be good neighbors,” said Mr. Sharon, “so we need to continue to strengthen[2] Mr. Abbas’ hand in dealing with the terror groups who helped to elect him. We understand that going ‘cold turkey’ on terrorism would be tough for these groups so, as a confidence-building measure in our negotiations, we’re proposing reasonable limits on Israeli civilian death and dismemberment.”

Mr. Abbas, who was sworn-in today as president of the Palestinian Authority, said he would “consider Mr. Sharon’s proposal after asking WWYD — What Would Yassir Do?”

This satire was used with the permission of Scott Ott from Scrappleface. You can read more of his work by clicking here[3].

  1.” TARGET=”_blank”>negotiations:”%20TARGET=”_blank”bcut%20contacts/b/A%20with%20the%20Palestinian%20Authority%20in%20the%20wake%20of%20the%20latest%20suicide%20attack%20which%20killed%20six%20Israelis,%20Prime%20Minister%20Ariel%20Sharon%20today%20softened%20his%20rhetoric%20and%20called%20on%20newly-elected%20Palestinian%20President%20Mahmoud%20Abbas%20to%20join%20him%20in%20A%20HREF=
  2. strengthen:
  3. here:

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