by John Hawkins | September 6, 2007 9:00 am
Senator Larry Craig is caught playing footsies with an undercover police officer in a public restroom, but that’s not what has progressives in an outrage. The Taliban of tolerance are angry the Idaho senator doesn’t support same-sex marriage. According to gay activists, if you’re willing to get physical before you flush, you should also be willing to support the idea of changing the definition of marriage so that aspiring couples can share more than a bathroom stall.
For homosexuals, cruising is a sacred pastime right up there with re-runs of Will and Grace, circuit parties and lip-syncing drag queens. Public sex is supposed to be “hot,” and I have some knowledge of this having co-starred in the high-end fantasy film Tijuana Toilet Tramps. In reality, for gays, a subset that defines itself by bodily function, it is no secret that the way to a homosexual’s heart is somewhere beneath the stomach. These are people who can’t separate who they “are” from what they “do.”
To protect the inalienable right to loiter in latrines with impunity, LAMBDA, a gay rights advocate group, publishes “The Little Black Book,” a guide for “safely engaging in public sex.” This book is filled with ideal locations, many in malls and amusement parks where children are present. It seems that all those complaints about keeping the government out of the bedroom, also apply to public restrooms, highway rest stops, alleys, theatres, arcades, public beaches, city parks…et al.
“If you cruise in parks, bathrooms or other spaces open to public view, trust your instincts, be aware of your surroundings — and know your rights.”
LAMBDA lawyers working to get men off from “unfair prosecution” for the “right” to public sex has to be an enormous drain from the organization’s other legal pet projects like getting those horrible Boy Scouts banned from public property, ensuring local government will pay for sex-change operations and the all-important gay marriage campaign, but as gays get their priorities straight, I’m certain the wedding altar could be just a hand reach away from the porcelain altar.
Of course, The Little Black Book emphasizes the need for “safe sex” especially in public places, but in gay ghettos where the HIV infection rate is 20 times higher than elsewhere, LAMBDA may be having more success with changing that stuffy old definition of marriage. At least, they’ll have a long-term justification for the yearly AIDS fundraisers.
Matt Foreman, head of the Gay and Lesbian Task Force, whose mission is “to build the grassroots power of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community,” claims there’s even a fiscal issue here “… why are Minneapolis tax dollars being used to have plainclothes police officers lurking idly in airport restroom stalls?” Yes, Matt, those dollars should be spent on free condom dispensers so you can express yourself without worrying about those pesky STDs, and if little children are present, this will just help them embrace the diversity of all activity, either sitting or standing.
Liberals say the real problem here is “repression.” In other words, if gay men are going to rotor their rooter in public, they should at least own up to it–be proud. Democrats have a point; in their party this is precisely the type of behavior that gets a politician appointed to special committees and a standing ovation from his colleagues.
In other words, it’s fine to toe wrestle with your neighbors in public restrooms; it’s not your fault you were just born with a penchant for urinals. Just make sure you support gay marriage, because you’ve got to be down for the real struggle.
On Bill Maher’s cable TV show, openly gay Congressman Barney Frank said Craig was a hypocrite. The lisp-lipped Frank of Massachusetts accused the senator of making a hypothetical 15-year-old “gay” teenager “somewhere out there” feel bad about himself. Relax, Representative Frank, the15-year-old victim can rest assured that bliss is right down the hall, in the nearest school restroom and LAMBDA will defend his rights to these intra-mural activities and plea “tolerance.”
Liberals will always shout hypocrisy in a tizzy-fit attempt to claim truth and honesty; you know all the things you live up to when you’re checking out the shoe size of the guy in the stall next to you.
Some will claim that not all gay men are taking too long to zip it up in bathrooms, but by their very own accusations of the senator’s sexuality, it’s only a gay man who would be interested in cruising a restroom. Activists shout homophobia is the real culprit here, and they’re right. Once you’re no longer homophobic, sex in public places will seem acceptable to you, too.
Sexual deviants say this is a battle for tolerance, and that getting rid of a hypocrite like Senator Craig advances their cause. Real progress will only come when these matters are not hidden, and as far as the gay agenda is concerned, they’ve mostly succeeded. A few years ago, the entire Craig scandal would have been inappropriate for the mainstream news. Now, we, as a people, are so numb to perversity all the major networks, even the highbrow PBS are slipping down the same glory hole.
The videos I did were labeled as adult fantasy and you had to be over 18 to get your hands on them, but thanks to the coarsening of American culture we’ve made this stuff a public access reality. Activists will never condemn bad bathroom etiquette, because they really believe it to be acceptable. Now, that’s progressive!
This content was used with the permission of Matt Sanchez
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