by John Hawkins | October 30, 2007 9:45 am
10. Jason from the Friday The 13th series: Sure, Jason’s powers don’t make any sense and he’s just a big, nearly indestructible killing machine whose only passions seem to be murder and “mommy,” but it’s hard to argue with the inclusion of a character that inspired 11 movies, the last of which, Freddy vs. Jason, made more than 100 million dollars.
9. The Candyman from the The Candyman series: I actually went to see this movie with a friend when it came out and it freaked her out so badly that she was putting her hand over my mouth when I looked in a mirror and started to say “Candyman” five times.
The freaky thing about the Candyman isn’t just that he shows up and kills you if you say his name five times, it’s that he actually tries to frame you for murder. In other words, even if the Candyman doesn’t kill you, you’ll still probably end up breaking big rocks into smaller rocks at a federal Penitentiary because the judge at your murder trial isn’t going to buy that it wasn’t you, it was the Candyman.
8. The Zombies from 28 Days Later: Zombies have long been a staple of horror movies, but usually they’re not very scary — or at least not very scary to those of us in America who have guns, because they’re so slow. I mean, if you saw 4 or 5 of the average zombies from the movies coming at you from 50 yards away, you’d be able to plug a couple of them in the head, stop, make a sandwich, eat the sandwich, and then finish the remaining zombies off before they made it to your front porch. But, the 28 Days Later zombies? They’re lethally fast, like incredibly infectious wild dogs, which makes them extremely dangerous.
7. The Jigsaw Killer from the Saw series: You wouldn’t think that an old dying man would make this list, but by the time his victims find out he exists, they’re pretty much doomed. At best, they end up sawing off a foot or cutting a key out of someone else’s stomach before they die and at worst, they end up locked in a room until they die, in the dark, with no food, no water, and no prospect of help.
6. Leatherface From The Texas Chainsaw Massacre series: There’s just something about being pursued by a giant, crazed mental defective wearing a human skin mask who wants to cut you into chunks with his chainsaw that just turns a man to jelly — well, a man who doesn’t have a gun, anyway.
5. The Aliens from the Aliens series: Although the Aliens are certainly ferocious beasts — strong, fast, attack in hordes, acid for blood, yada, yada, yada — they make the list mainly because they look incredibly cool and because of the horrific way that they kill people with their young.
Just imagine it — you’re sitting around eating dinner, feeling fortunate that the weird thing on your face didn’t seem to do any lasting damage to you — when you feel this unbelievable pain in your chest and you lay there, screaming, while a creature claws its way out of your ribcage and starts looking for new victims. Talk about a lousy way to go…
4. The Thing from The Thing: Ironically, the ultimate “I am here to hurt you” creature from outer space showed up at the box office a mere two weeks after one of the cutsie wootsiest space characters in history, E.T., came on the scene.
Unlike E.T, the Thing wasn’t friendly, it could transform into a perfect duplicate of anything it touched, and it relentlessly killed everything it came in contact with, man and beast while simultaneously stirring up lethal levels of paranoia. Is it killable? Yes, but by the time you figure out whether it’s the Thing, your mom, your baby, or your pet, it will have probably slaughtered you already.
3. Jaws from the Jaws series: Granted, Jaws didn’t have any special powers and it wasn’t supernatural…but, you have to give the big fish credit. Jaws gave a whole generation of people the willies about swimming in deeper-than-waist-deep water. Heck, most people probably wouldn’t get in their bath tub if they heard the Jaws theme music playing.
2. Freddy Krueger from the Nightmare on Elm Street Series: Freddy should be the most unstoppable villain on this list. He comes after people when they dream, drags them into a world where he’s almost as omnipotent and invulnerable as a Greek God, and then he just has to kill them before they wake up. The only way people can effectively fight back against him is to grab him, drag him back into the real world when they awake, and then fight him there. If he were to ever figure this out and replace his glove with a spear, so that he could stab people to death from a distance, he would be completely unstoppable.
1. Pinhead from the Hellraiser series: So, you’re sitting around playing with this funky looking Rubik’s Cube and next thing you know, a demon from Hell shows up. He’s essentially impossible to fight and not only does he kill you in just about the most gory and painful manner possible, by ripping you apart with hooked chains, he takes your soul back to hell where he continues to torture you forever more. In other words, not only is your life going to end badly, death is no release. It doesn’t make for a pretty picture.
My 50 Favorite Horror Films Of All-Time
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