The Blow By Blow Of Gore’s Latest Speech

Scott Ott from Scrappleface was giving me the blow by blow of Al Gore’s speech from this afternoon on instant messenger and I was responding with snarky commentary. I thought it was entertaing enough to post (after a bit of editing) and it has to be better than actually listening to Gore’s soul-deadening droning about the issues….

Scott Ott: Listening to Al Gore on CNN radio online right now.

John Hawkins: Oh, is he giving his “big” speech? =)

Scott Ott: He just accused Bush of systematically lying to achieve his policy goals.

John Hawkins: Sounds about his speed.

Scott Ott: He says Bush has squelched debate, bypassing democratic procedures to keep things secret — slow speed — still speaks like a metronome.

John Hawkins: Bush…has…squelched…..debate…bypassed….democratic…..procedures….

Scott Ott: The test of compassion is action, and what the administration offers with one hand is the rhetoric of compassion, what it takes away with the other hands are the financial resources to make compassion more than an empty….blah…something, something…

John Hawkins: …My question is…when do people stop caring what the old VP says about anything?

Scott Ott: Wow…this is a “major” policy speech. He now wants Bush to release intelligence briefings pre-9/11.

John Hawkins: Does he actually seem to be talking about any policies?

Scott Ott: Well….he seems to be trying to slam Bush on every point.

John Hawkins: So it is a policy speech, he doesn’t like Bush’s policies. =)

Scott Ott: Now, the new generation of small nuclear bombs is…true madness and the point of no return to the comprehensive test ban treaty. ah…moral equivalence….we should stop building bombs so we’re not like N. Korea.

John Hawkins: Yada, yada, yada, we’re too tough on terrorists, yada, yada, yada, we should ask why they hate us, yada, yada, yada.

Scott Ott: Here comes Kyoto — Bush protecting the oil and coal industries from any protections at all — addiction to carbon based fuels — OPEC is a crack dealer…in so many words.

John Hawkins: Windmills, solar power, horses, rickshaws, these are the power sources of the future!

Scott Ott: Far from uniting the people, the presidents ideologically narrow agenda has seriously divided America….a civil coldwar.

John Hawkins: Lol — the left wanted detente during the real cold war, now it’s “we must attack and win” — Reagan could have used more liberals with that attitude.

Scott Ott: Wow, he’s raving about the honesty of the Clinton/Gore administration.

John Hawkins: No, you’ve got to be kidding me. Nobody buys the honesty of the Clinton administration — not even the left — anymore.

Scott Ott: We can have that kind of nation, what you are doing will make it more possible…we have work to do…thank you. — roar of applause — — They love the man who invented the internet that they so skillfully use.

John Hawkins: Hehe — they made Dean — the moveon poll was what sparked him.

Scott Ott: Don’t forget Kucinich, he was second.

John Hawkins: They only have so much magic…

Scott Ott: True.

John Hawkins: They can’t carry DEAN & tinfoil hat man to the top…

Scott Ott: (Gore) basically gave a summary of what all the candidates have been saying. Although very slowly…methodically…statesmanlike, one must say.

John Hawkins: He does everything slowly & methodically. I bet it takes him 40 minutes to brush his teeth. Now…I…will…squeeze…the….toothpaste….like….an….alpha….male….

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