The Bowness Monster Revealed!

by John Hawkins | February 23, 2007 12:02 pm

It looks like they’re found another “Nessie” over in Britain and there’s even a picture, courtesy of the fine folks at This is London[1]:

…(T)his shadowy image is causing more than a ripple of interest among monster aficionados.

And to the man who took it, the picture is proof that something strange lurks in the waters of Windermere.

…Photographer Linden Adams, 35, was walking in the area with his wife Louise a fortnight ago.

They were at a secluded spot more than 1,000ft up a mountain when they spotted the “creature”.

“It just came out of the blue,” said the father of two. “The water was incredibly peaceful and then this huge thing appeared, diving and thrashing around.”

He said it appeared to be 50ft long, when compared to boats nearby. “I snatched the binoculars from my wife and gasped when I got a better look. I could see this huge dark thing moving in the water. It had a head like a labrador, only much, much bigger.”

Mr Adams, from Bowness-on-Windermere, said: “I know the lake well and this was no freak wave or boat.”

Aware of similar sightings in the lake, he began taking pictures of what he calls the “Bowness Monster”.

“When I looked at them on my computer I realised I had something,” he said. “It was spine-tingling.”

Are you ready for the pic of this 50 ft., “huge dark thing”, with the “head like a labrador, only much, much bigger?” I hope you’re sitting down for this, especially you skeptics, who are about to have your poor, pitiful, stilted version of reality shattered like a glass jar stuck into a washing machine made out of shark’s teeth:

Obviously, that is a 50ft long sea monster…or a branch from a tree, one or the other. So, that proves without a doubt that this “Bowness Monster”, or as I’ve christened him, Winston Nessiehill, actually exists!

PS: Yes, I know this story has, well, nothing to do with anything, but it was just too hilariously ludicrous to ignore.