Things I’m Sick of Hearing By Doug Patton

As I write this, today feels like a day to just “vent,” so here goes…

I’m sick of hearing about high gas prices. The national media is obsessed with the issue, hoping that the more stories they run about big, evil, price-gouging oil companies versus poor, victimized, SUV-driving consumers, the more the American people simultaneously will learn to hate their gas guzzling vehicles and President George W. Bush.

I’m sick of hearing that the president’s low poll numbers are due to his handling of the war on terror, especially the war in Iraq. If the self-righteous inventors of The News would stick their heads out of their ivory towers long enough to see past their own political prejudices, they would realize that the president’s poll ratings are, in large part, the result of his own abandonment of virtually every conservative constituency he has asked to trust him for the last six years. With the exception of modest (and so far temporary) tax cuts and a couple of seemingly solid Supreme Court appointments (one of which had to be forced upon him), there is precious little in the president’s domestic agenda for a social and/or fiscal conservative to love.

I’m sick of hearing Ted Kennedy tell me how unfair it is that the rich have more than the poor. When he redistributes his portfolio among the less fortunate, then I might have a modicum of respect for the old windbag. Until then, he can just shut up and keep his greedy hands off my modest income.

Likewise, I’m sick of hearing John McCain, Lindsay Graham, Arlen Specter and Chuck Hagel blather on about what is fair and decent and right, as if only they have the righteous understanding to know such things.

I’m sick of hearing that everyone has a right to be proud of his or her race, creed, gender, sexual preference, marital status, religion and national origin – everyone except happily married conservative white male heterosexual Christian Americans.

I’m sick of hearing that Islam is a religion of peace that has been hijacked by a radical few. Of the approximately 1.5 billion Muslims in the world today, it has been estimated that at least 150 million of them are in support of the goals of worldwide terrorist organizations like al-Qaeda. That’s a pretty big hijacking. If ten percent of American Christians supported abortion clinic bombers, we would all be under surveillance.

I’m sick of hearing political correctness on every TV show. King Solomon was right when he said there is nothing new under the sun, but come on, Hollywood, get an idea in your heads that doesn’t involve bashing Republicans, conservatives, pro-lifers, businessmen, Christians, the Pentagon or the NSA.

I’m sick of hearing about all the jobs that Americans won’t do. Yank all the “safety nets” out from under able-bodied Americans and just watch how quickly they will take those jobs.

I’m sick of hearing that millions of illegal aliens cannot be removed from our country. Make it a felony to be here and a felony to hire them and watch how quickly they leave.

I’m sick of hearing that requiring people to learn English is discriminatory. You bet it is, and that is a good thing. I was raised to believe that discriminating people were ones with high standards. We have made the word “discriminate” synonymous with “bigotry.” That is nonsense.

Finally, I’m sick of hearing that America is a nation of immigrants. I welcome anyone from anywhere who yearns to legally breathe free and who will swear allegiance to my country, but don’t call me an immigrant. My ancestors have been in this country since well before the Civil War, and my wife’s ancestry extends back before the founding of this nation. Read my lips: as for me and my house, we are not immigrants. We are Americans!

Doug Patton is a freelance columnist who has served as a political speechwriter and policy advisor to federal, state and local candidates, elected officials and public policy organizations. His weekly columns are published in newspapers across the country and on selected Internet web sites, including and, where he is a senior writer and state editor. Readers may e-mail him at [email protected]

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