Thoughts From A Baby By Frank J.

by John Hawkins | December 2, 2004 12:23 am

My nerves can’t take this anymore; I need to get out of here. It so deceptively warm and comfortable in the womb… like they want me to fall asleep. But I can’t sleep… that’s when they come for me. I’m sure that a couple of time I felt some poking and prodding was them preparing the vacuum… sure of it! They were just waiting for me to go to sleep… but I was on to them! You won’t get me without a fight!

I’m so tired, though. I can’t keep alert like this forever. I can’t go on with this constant threat of death. Has it been nine months, yet? I want out! It’s felt like years…

Yes! It has been nine months! I can see the light! I’m getting out…

Wait! This could be one of those partial birth abortions! They’re going to suck my brains out, those [email protected]! Get your dirty hands off me!

No, I’m going out head first. They only do those feet first, I think. There, I’m partially out, but I got to get all out so they can’t kill me. Come on feet…

Yes! I’m born! You can’t kill me now, you @%$# [email protected]! I have legal protections now. I’m a person, you @%$# psychos! And…

No… is that Dutch they’re speaking? No, Lord, no. I’ve been born in the @%$# Netherlands! What does that doctor have in his hands? Is it something to euthanize me[1] with?

When will the Sword of Damocles ever be removed from above my head?!

If you enjoyed this satire by Frank J., you can read more of his work at IMAO[2].

Endnotes:
  1. something to euthanize me: http://apnews.myway.com/article/20041130/D86MEAA80.html
  2. IMAO: http://imao.us/

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