UN: No Evidence Iran Producing Nukes, Oil By Scott Ott

by John Hawkins | November 10, 2003 6:55 pm

The United Nations today announced it had found no evidence[1] that Iran is producing nuclear weapons or crude oil.

“We have been told this by Iranian government officials,” said a U.N. spokesman, “and if anyone ought to know, it’s them. They’ve been cooperating with us in a most congenial manner.”

After an exhaustive inspection process, the U.N. also said it found no evidence that anyone in Iran practices Islam, wears a burqa or speaks Farsi. A team of United Nations experts continues to search for evidence of kebab.

If you liked this satire by Scott Ott, you can read more of his work at Scrappleface[2].