US Base In Kabul Under

by John Hawkins | May 9, 2002 6:22 pm

US Base In Kabul Under Personal Attack: Those crazy kids at National Lampoon[1] have scooped the entire mainstream media to bring us all the details from the latest “personal” attack on our men in Kabul. Eat your heart out Geraldo Rivera!

“Unidentified Intruder: “We will f**k your American dogs.”

US Forces: “We don’t blame you. We’ve seen the Afghan women.”

UI: “Hey, ugly-face. We make jihad to America!”

USF: “Yeah, we were making jihad to your girlfriend, earlier. ‘Jihad’ so much fun that ‘jihad’ tears in her eyes when ‘jihad’ to say goodbye to us.”

UI: “Your mother is so fat, when she can only pray to Mecca 4 times a day because of the difficulty of getting up that the extra weight implies.”

USF: “You’re an idiot. In fact, you’re so dumb you couldn’t pass a blood test.”

UI: “You are the idiot, idiot.”

USF: “A camel-f***ing moron says what.”

UI: “What? …Hey, wait a minute! That is rotten trick! You are like piece of poop!”

USF: “What say we have a truce? Here, pull my finger.”

UI: “Naieee!!! It stinks, it stinks! You are evil goat’s @ss!”

USF: “I am like rubber, you are like glue. What bounces off me sticks to you.”

UI: “Is victory impossible? Retreat, retreat!”

Unconfirmed reports say the intruders suffered heavy injuries to their pride during their panicked flight from the scene. A subsequent sweep of the area found a 1980’s-vintage book of “snaps” believed to have been given to the Mujahideen by the US for use against the Soviets.”

Endnotes:
  1. National Lampoon: http://www.nationallampoon.com/news/5_9_2002a.asp

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