by Tiffiny Ruegner | July 8, 2014 7:18 pm
Two women casually, though clumsily, trying to steal another beachgoer’s canopy on a Florida beach were caught red-handed on July 4 by the owner while he took video of the whole thing.
The bumbling thieves may find it difficult to commit any more thefts since video the canopy’s owner took of the bizarre confrontation has gone viral. As Americans celebrated their freedom on the holiday, the two middle-aged women, dressed in swimwear, took their liberty a little too far at New Smyrna beach. The video begins as a beachgoer approaches the two women and politely asks them if the beach canopy they are trying to dismantle belongs to them.
‘Yeah, but we don’t know how to do it,’ one of the women tells him.
‘Oh, do you need some help?’ he says.
‘Do you know how to do it?’
‘Yeah,’ he tells them. ‘This is our stuff.’
The women feign disbelief, trying to pretend that the canopy, beach chairs and boogie boards strewn on the sand are their property.
‘No,’ he says. ‘It is. It’s all ours. All of it. The chairs, the bag – this is all our stuff.
One of the women points to a beach toy questioningly.
‘My kid’s, yup,’ says the man.
The man is unfailingly polite, telling them that he’ll let it slide and that he’s glad he arrived back in time before his stuff went missing. The women continue to act as though they truly believe the items belong to them. When their ruse fails to sway the man, though, they become aggressive, telling him to ‘turn the goddamn camera off.’
[Actual video of the women getting aggressive]
He began filming when he spotted the women, who had already collapsed his chairs and placed them in his beach cart and were beginning work on the canopy. He said that after one of the women told him she as going to bury his phone in the grass (of which there was little on the beach), she lunged for his phone and it stopped recording. Which is unfortunate for us, because that’s when things got even more ridiculous, Rich said.
‘I continued to back up as we went around the canopy frame. In the most bizarre moment she gnashed her teeth, lunging at me with an open palm and said, “I’ll grab your d**k!” I appreciated the offer but didn’t feel the chemistry was there,’ Rich told Gawker.
Rich didn’t file a police report, but says he’s definitely never going to leave his belongings unattended, ‘even in Mayberry.’
How does one who lives in the easiest country in the whole world celebrate the Fourth of July? Steal someone’s $80 canopy of course. And demonstrate how free you are by attacking the owner when they catch you in the act because that’s what it means to be American in 2014. Behaving like animals will eventually come full circle where freedom will be caged if society doesn’t watch itself.
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