Illinois Tries to Implement Obamacare Early, But It’s All Just A Tea Party Hoax. Or Something.

Illinois is a land of contradictions. We may have birthed Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter, but we’ve been struggling to spit out an elected representative with any semblance of idealistic commitment ever since. We claim to set an example for the nation, but insist on electing dudes whose only expertise is selling favors to supporters over […]

 

Obama Hearts Occupy Wall Street, Michelle Hearts $3K Dress

President Obama is embarking on another embarrassing “bus tour of the heartland” wherein he will ride his gigantic, taxpayer-funded million dollar black bus when it’s convenient for press photographers, but board Air Force One and Marine One when it’s most convenient for him. Along the way, he’s promising to deliver folksy speeches to folksy people […]

 



Could Donald Trump Change the Stakes in 2012?

No, not seriously. But The Donald is, at least, considering running for President of the United States on the GOP ticket in 2012. News broke Monday of a New Hampshire poll asking residents about a possible presidential run by Donald Trump. And although Trump denies having anything to do with the poll, he admitted Tuesday […]

 


Peel That Obama Sticker Off!

There’s a reason that many liberals just adore Barack. Americans of the progressive persuasion often enjoy their political beliefs distilled into the simplest form possible — the bumper sticker — and since Obama is limited almost entirely to a single sentence when he attempts to express his political position, the whole thing jives quite well. […]

 

Don’t Be Brokenhearted, Barack, But…

There’s this thing about young voters. Most of them are liberal, mostly because most of them have had limited exposure to national politics, and because most of them get that limited exposure in political science classes taught by people who study political theory for twenty years before they impart their hard-earned wisdom onto our youth, […]

 

Kung-Fu Election!

So you’re, like us, kind of angry that your favorite candidate was defeated last night, right? Its almost impossible not to be angry unless you were a supporter of Obama, or of Mike Huckabee, in which case you probably aren’t reading this because you’re, in any way, “like us.” But back to the point. If […]

 

Hill Needs No Enemies

Hillary Clinton has trouble competing in states where she has to run against other Democrats, which is, of course, most of them. But what about a state where she and Dennis Kucinich are the only two on the ballot, where none of the other candidates have even set foot to campaign, and where the governor […]

 

NASCAR Metaphor Stumps ABC

If you’ve never watched a NASCAR race and made the comment that you were surprised the drivers stayed Republican because they make nothing but left turns, you’re not a redneck, probably have never voted Republican in your life and live at least out of the broadcasting range of a country music station (meaning you’re either […]

 

Say Thank You

This Thanksgiving, the Department of Defense is partnering with major cell phone providers so that you can send “thank you” text messages to the troops fighting in Iraq, Afghanistan and around the world. It is called “The Giving Thanks Campaign.” A couple of seconds of your time, and your kind words will reach American troops […]

 

America Hates Rosie O’Donnell

You’d think that, by now, that would be obvious to her. She’s just one of those people we’ll continue to tolerate, but secretly hope that they are negotiating to Canada, where they will move, live and die in liberal paradise (likely because of universal health care, but that’s an entirely different can of worms). We […]

 

We’re Not The Only Ones!

Certainly, its clear by now that Al Gore probably doesn’t intend on challenging Hillary and Obama and that other guy for the Democratic nomination. Not only is it to far into the game, not only is he lacking funds, but eight years under the Other Clinton has probably taught him the problems associated with challenging […]

 

A Ringing…er…Endorsement.

Lately, apathy has set in to the Democratic legions. Edwards is pulling ahead in some polls, presumably because his week-long silence has allowed Hillary and Obama’s incessant insult-flinging to take center stage, reminding the left side of the spectrum that their palette of potential candidates is nearly as disappointing as the Right’s. Currently, their only […]

 

Also a Defense to Libel? Truth.

Luckily, the applied standard for defamation when applied to major media outlets is “actual malice,” meaning that a plaintiff must show that a newspaper intentionally attempted to destroy the credibility and/or image of the public person they’re being accused of maligning. Meaning, of course, that when Cynthia McKinney finally files this suit against the Atlanta […]

 

Didn’t Alan Shore Settle This?

As Cindy Sheehan has quasi-retired from the limelight, and Al Gore seems to be garnering the press coverage, its no wonder that the anti-war movement has, at least in a populous sense, lost some leverage. Whilst it had been easy to collect thousands of excused students with bongo drums and questionable hygiene to the Capital […]

 

We’re More Fond Of “Blame Canada”

But then again, we live closer to Canada than we do to California, so when it comes to poisonous filth pouring over our borders (truer than you might think, as Michigan pays for Canadian garbage to be dumped in our injection wells–ironically, our single source of income these dreary days) like socialism, extraneous vowels, our […]

 

But To Be Honest, Who Even Likes Tony Bennett?

There was some light to come out of those Gore hearings. Buried under the blather about carbon neutrality and organic farming and cotton underwear and penguins getting suntans, was a quote from Roscoe Bartlett, (R-MD), who, like us tends to believe in the whole stewardship of the Earth thing, but doesn’t quite buy Al’s theory […]

 

Charlie Sheen Needs A Haircut

Among other things, but when reading the Posts story on him wanting to lend a voice to a Truther documentary, the first thing we could think of was that he really, desperately needs a trim. Its starting to look greasy and thats a sign that either he’s not successfully washing or he’s gone too long […]