Author: John Kass

In an early scene on “Madam Secretary” — a kinda Hillary Clinton political soap opera on CBS — our heroine mucks horse manure out of a barn. As played by Tea Leoni, Madam Secretary is a former CIA-analyst-turned-professor in the Virginia horse country, in jeans and boots. She holds a pitchfork in her hand. And […]

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell is a public relations genius. That’s right, a real American genius if you will. If you don’t believe it, then you’ve probably had your brains scrambled so hard that they leaked out your ear and plopped right onto the 50-yard line. I’ll tell you why he’s such a genius, and why […]

If Jimmy Fallon really wants to grab Mayor Rahm Emanuel’s attention when he brings “The Tonight Show” to Chicago for another mutual ear-licking session, Jimmy might ask this: When will Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson Sr. show up in Chicago to show Ferguson-style outrage over the assassination of 9-year-old Antonio Smith? I don’t think Rahm […]

Can President Barack Obama lead a coalition to degrade or destroy the terrorists of the Islamic State? He stared resolutely into the camera from the White House last week, talking of war and threats. He’s a good talker. He enunciated. But the ideas weren’t clear. And that lack of clarity is frightening. And after the […]

The NFL is all about making billions of dollars a year selling its brand of glitzy gladiatorial violence and power. The kind of violence and power Ray Rice showed. Not what Rice showed in a hotel elevator when he punched his wife’s lights out and then dragged her out like a sack of potatoes. The […]

I’m not really into the political cannibal thing. And I’m old-fashioned enough to believe that eating humans — even in metaphor — is still a sin. But there’s something unspeakably attractive about the Democrats’ eat-the-rich campaign as they approach the mid-term elections in November. President Barack Obama and his crew need to excite their base. […]

To the Jackie Robinson West All-Stars: Boys, I’m hoping you can forgive us grown-ups for some of the nonsense coming out of our mouths after the Little League World Series. Some of us are gushing sympathy and tenderness at you, and that’s the last thing a good ballplayer wants to hear. You’re champions. You’re the […]

America tells stories to itself in images, funny ones, sad ones, selfies we send out over our phones with snarky comments. But lately, the ones that get the most traction are the angry ones. They seize us like hands around our throats. And that’s what the images from Ferguson, Mo., feel like to me, hands […]

They don’t talk about the quiet in the house. Instead friends tell you all the fun you’ll have together, all the freedom you’ll finally achieve, once your kids are gone away to college. The problem is that they tell you in a chatty, excited voice, extolling the benefits of “reconnecting as a couple” and how […]

On the Chicago block where that 3-year-old boy was shot in the stomach, a victim of the city’s murderous gang wars, there was a woman watering her flowers. “Please don’t put my name,” she said, her thumb directing the spray. “Don’t put my name.” Her arm kept moving back and forth on a sunny day […]

This could be a terrifying tale right out of the Book of Meat Science Fiction, only this one isn’t fiction. It involves the elemental bond between humans and the critters we like to cook on a grill, or roast, or saute. But that could all end, because a tiny bloodthirsty bug known as the lone […]

If you’re from the Midwest, you probably hated LeBron James. Who didn’t? Not true hatred, of course. I’m talking about sports hatred. Sports hatred isn’t something a sane person acts on. But sports fans feel it. It’s cold and bitter as you watch that one athlete from that other team who seems to cut your […]

Prominent Chicago Democrats have had an easy time with the national media for decades — as easy as shaking a ring of keys to distract an anxious child in church. Former Mayor Richard M. Daley rode a bicycle in photo ops and put a few plants on the roof of City Hall, leading the national […]

How does a nation lose its way? Some of us think that just one man alone could radically change a country, if he’s powerful enough. It was an idea of years ago, this great man theory, offered by a Scotsman in the mid-1800s, in the time of idiot kings and dying monarchies. The Scot’s name […]

In an exclusive interview, Raffaele Raia — the noted Italian soccer aficionado from Oliveto Citra, near Salerno — said America is missing only one thing to fully grasp World Cup soccer. “Until Americans live and die with it, as we Italians do, you won’t truly understand,” Raia said. “That means the World Cup not as […]

Chicago must truly be the most American of cities, and it’s not because politicians keep saying it. John Brooks, the newest American soccer star in the World Cup, has testified to this fact. Brooks didn’t testify by scoring that incredible goal to win the critical first game against the Black Stars of Ghana, a goal […]

Hillary Clinton graced Chicago this week on her Planet Hillary Global Domination Tour as she seeks the presidency. And she proved something the other day. She proved that she finally stands for something. Hillary stands for people who are “dead broke” but also have multiple homes. She bragged about it to a purring Diane Sawyer […]

What kind of culture produced those two 12-year-old Wisconsin girls charged with stabbing a classmate 19 times? Our culture. The 12-year-olds were charged as adults. Police said they wanted to kill their classmate so they could cement a pact with an evil, fictional character that lives only on the Internet. We won’t know for some […]

The Democrats have it all wrong when it comes to one of their choices for a new President Barack Obama bumper sticker: “Like a Boss.” The Democrats foolishly think the phrase derives from an old rap song denoting cool competence. “Like a bowse” is how the young people pronounce it. “‘Like a Boss’ is rockin’ […]

With the Russians on the prowl, the Chinese hacking into our computers, Boko Haram in Nigeria triggering fear and celebrity hashtags, the last thing America needs is to lose a trusted ally: England. But the great Anglo-American alliance is threatened by the reality TV show “I Wanna Marry ‘Harry,’” which premiered Tuesday on Fox and […]

Many of you know that I’m not Hillary Clinton’s biggest fan. But I would never question whether she was right in the head. Instead, what bothers me is that dark, crusty clump of carbon that some may confuse with a soul. Before crazed hordes of Benghazi Deniers (in and out of journalism) shout me down […]

Why is Benghazi important to Americans? You’ll hear a lot about Benghazi in coming days and you’ll hear the familiar screeching of partisan politics, now that House Speaker John Boehner has decided to convene a select committee to investigate the 2012 terrorist attack in that dusty fly-bitten town in Libya. If the past is any […]

An unwritten American novel is playing out in Los Angeles. It’s about rich, whiny racist Donald Sterling, the owner of the Los Angeles Clippers. And it’s about his cooing kitty-cat of a girlfriend, who infuriated him by bringing black people to his games. It will make an even better American movie, with an inside look […]

When it comes to race in America, the last thing I’d want is to be considered a coward. But then, it’s so easy to be cowardly in America when it comes to race. It’s not normal for people to take positions that can leave them vulnerable and make it easy for others to brand them […]

It was disappointing the other day to see President Barack Obama embracing the vulgar race hustler Al Sharpton. President Obama once eloquently confronted race in a memorable speech in Philadelphia in 2008. That speech was remarkable and honest and, to borrow a favorite word of the political left that still fawns over him, it was […]

Thanks to learned scientists, I’ve discovered that I suffer from a mental problem afflicting millions of Americans. It’s not really a disease. It’s more like a peculiarity, one that irritates polite society yet may be corrected with surgery to the frontal lobe. What is this deviancy? Conservatism. For many years now, conservatives have secretly feared […]

Even a former cornerback who failed to graduate from Whatsamatta U. can deduce what will happen to college football in America. Football’s past may have been all about raccoon coats and chants of Boola-Boola. But the future of college football will be written along the Chicago Way. So after decades of making piles of treasure […]

When President Barack Obama and other Democrats began talking about raising the minimum wage to $10 an hour, I didn’t believe them. Instead, cynical thoughts came to mind, like “class war” and “November elections” and “pandering for votes.” But I’ve changed. Now I agree with the president, the national Democrats and the Chicago Way boys […]

With so much uncertainty in the world, it’s upsetting to see American politicians, backed by cheesy special interests, trying to start a war with Europe. A cheese war. And in the jingoistic climate of today’s aggressive and expansionist cheese policy, I’m a cheese lover without a country. And some will call me a traitor. When […]

It’s clear that Americans are irritated by some of our annoying, stupid, idiotic laws. Like the law in Galesburg, Ill., that makes it illegal to burn bird feathers within city limits. And one in Fort Thomas, Ky., that prohibits house pets from “molesting” passing cars. There are laws for this and laws for that, but […]