Beware of Bitter, Old, Lefty, White Women With Dreadlocks

I haven’t seen so many lies, misconstructions, affectations, and guffaw-invoking absurdities in a single editorial in a major American newspaper for a very long time. In fact I thought it wasn’t possible to see so much foolishness in such a small space without satire being the ultimate goal. In the L.A. Times, however, Anne Lamott has succeeded in making a bigger fool of herself in one editorial than Maureen Dowd could hope to have achieved in a whole year’s worth of blather.

Lamott, an aging novelist that churns out those woefully indulgent tomes that forces readers to endure her darkest feelings and imagines that all of us are on the edge of our seats as she chronicles raising her child, fancies herself an expert on faith and grace. She seems to imagine that she defines it, what ever it is. Of course she was one of the most infested with Bush Derangement Syndrome and was quick to warm to her ersatz religious leader, Barack Hussein Obama. It seems to me that she’s spent her life looking for meaning anywhere and she thought she finally found paydirt with The One. She likes to use words like “grace” and “belief” a lot in her writing but like a true newagie, leftist she rarely talks about any actual religion except in the vaguest of terms. It does appear, though, that she had found a new religion in The One.

And now, with her piece in the Times, it seems she is on the verge of losing her religion… again.

So, it appears that Mz. Lamott imagines herself one of the grown ups. But one line of hers in the Times is an admission that sums up so well the entire piece in a few, succinct words that I am a bit shocked Lamott left the line intact. In one of her last paragraphs, Lamott said of herself, “I hate to sound like a betrayed 7-year-old…” Well, this about sums it all up perfectly. Not only does Lamott act like a petulant 7-year-old, but she reveals herself to have a 7-year-old’s understanding of politics, human nature and history, as well.

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This uproarious admission of her maturity level aside, the rest of the piece simply has to be seen to be believed. The fun starts off right in the first paragraph when Lamott asserts that in the last election about “1,575 people wanted you to try to reconcile the toxic bipartisanship that culminated in those Sarah Palin rallies.” Where does she get this number? From the same orifice that she gets all her other assertions in this laugher, of course.

But it’s her second mini paragraph, simplistically encompassing one sentence, where she first reveals her complete lack of knowledge about the late campaign for president.

The other 66,880,655 of us wanted universal healthcare.

This silly woman has it precisely backwards. The candidate that was going to “bring us together,” the candidate that was “post-partisan” was far more the central campaign theme of her Obammessiah than the healthcare issue was. In fact, the “universal healthcare” that Lamott seems to think was so important to sixty-six million voters was just one more of Obama’s vague promises during the campaign. Sure some sectors of the national political scene were hot for universal healthcare during the campaign but healthcare was not as central to the moderate voters that put Obama over the top as the very idea that he would bring a new atmosphere to Washington. And we should also note that Obama had already started distancing himself from the idea of universal healthcare during the campaign before he even became president.

Then comes the prosaic leftist boilerplate that has no real historical truth to it, but rhetoric that every wild-eyed leftist believes as gospel.

You inherited a country that was in the most desperate shape since the Civil War, or the Depression, and we voted for you to heal the catastrophic wounds Bush inflicted on our country and our world. You said that you were up to that challenge.

No, Mz Lamott we most certainly were not in the “most desperate shape since the Civil War.” That is simply a brainless conclusion to come to. We certainly were in the worst economic shape since The Great Depression, granted, but we were nowhere near in as bad a shape as we were in the1930s and 40s. Not even close… though Obama is doing his level best to get us there. And, if, Mz Lamott, you want to focus on the floundering economy, you can thank Obama for making it far worse than Bush ever dreamed of. Curiously enough we do have a parallel with The Great Depression, in a way. We now have a president that is making it worse, just like our president did during that troubling time nearly 80 years ago. Far from being the hero that saved us from depression, more economists every day are realizing that Roosevelt extended that economic horror story by up to seven years. Obama is on track to repeating this rueful mistake.

Next Lamott shows us a burning hatred for nearly half of America’s voters as well as the concept of bi-partisanship that Obama ran on.

We did not vote for you to see if you could get Chuck Grassley or Michael Enzi to date you. The spectacle of you wooing them fills us with horror and even disgust. We recoil as from hot flame at each mention of your new friends.

I guess extremists like Lamott cannot be counted on to help us reach that “post partisan” world that Obama promised us, eh? We must not look to Lamott for civility and a spirit of cooperation. She is not interested in the American idea of compromise, but is interested in the authoritarian, Stalinist process of tyranny. Some American she is, eh?

Then, for some inexplicable reason, Lamott thought we’d all be interested in her love life. Firstly, a woman of her advanced years telling us of her sex life is slightly creepy. But it also shows how incompatible she must be with normal people if at 55 years of age she is still prowling single’s bars for a mate. If all the vitriol, acid and hate she reveals in this piece is any indication, though, it’s no wonder that she keeps coming up short in the love department. Who needs to invite such turmoil into their lives? Eligible single men certainly have enough troubles in their lives without adding hers to theirs!

Then we have a statement of the obvious that is amusing even as it seems to come as a shock to Lamott.

And Mr. President, that is what the Republicans are saying to you: They are just not that into you, sir.

Maybe that’s why few of them voted for him, Anne? Do ya think that could be the case?

Now, we on the right have been decrying the religious-like deification that the religion-hating left continually heap upon The One. And Annie doesn’t disappoint in this area.

After eight years of Bush, and then the Palin nomination, we were battered and anguished and punch-drunk. But in rallying behind you, we came back to life, like in Ezekiel when the prophet breathes the spirit of bearing witness and caring onto the dry bones, and those bones come back to life, become living people again, cherished and tended to.

For people that hate religion so much, they sure do fall to pseudo-religious rhetoric to praise their Obammessiah, don’t they? Of course, Lamott specializes in this sort of conceit, so it isn’t surprising. Oh, but she wasn’t done with the soaring expectations she had for The One.

We did not know exactly how you would proceed to restore our beloved Constitution. It seemed beyond redemption, like my kitchen floor did briefly last week after my dog, Bodhi, accidentally ate 24 corn bread muffins. You said you would push back your sleeves and begin, that it would take all of us working harder than we ever had before, but that you would lead. While acknowledging the financial and moral devastation of the last eight years, you said you would start by giving your people healthcare. You would do battle with the conservatives and insurance companies. You said in your beautiful way many times that this was the overarching moral and spiritual issue of our times, and we understood this to mean that you took this to be your Selma, your Little Rock.

What a bunch of… well, let’s get to the meat of this adolescent rant, shall we?

I hate to sound like a betrayed 7-year-old, but you said. And we believed you. Now you seem to have abandoned the dream. That is why moderates and liberals and progressives like myself all seem a little tense this summer. It is time to call your spirit back. We will be here to help when you get back from vacation. We want to help you get over the disappointment of Mr. Grassley’s cold shoulder, of Mr. Enzi blowing you off, even that nice Olympia Snowe standing you up. We can and will take to the streets again, march and hold peaceful rallies, go door to door, donate to any causes that will help get out the truth of what a public option would mean. But we need you to shake off the dust of the journey and remember the promises of Dr. King, and we need you to lead us toward what is no longer so distant a shore.

I love how this extremist, left-winger includes herself in with the “moderates.” That was pretty amusing, to say the least. But the crux of what we see here is a crestfallen, extremist that is just realizing heir Messiah is a hollow man. Interestingly, Lamott’s lament is just seeping into the minds of the far left in America, a sector that is just beginning to realize that they elected a man incapable of doing what they thought he was promising them. It’s too early to say that their goals are all lost due to Obama’s incompetence, of course, but that they are starting to stare gape-mouthed at failure after failure by this president is momentous and could portend a left-wing backlash that could have long lasting political and social repercussions.

Lomott’s moaning is also a perfect example of what is happening due to Obama’s empty campaign. It is more evident than ever that no one that voted for Barack Hussein Obama knew anything about him as they entered the polling booth. It is proof that the man was a shiny mirror held up to voters who saw themselves reflected in him as they voted for him. It is a stark example of how none of his voters had any idea what Obama himself stood for but were voting for him based on the dreamy-dream they had for a new political landscape.

This is the emptiness of hope-n-change revealed. It is an example of how Obama ran on empty bromides, happy talk, and breezy jaw, jaw that had no substantive policies contained within.

Extremists like Lamott thought they were electing a Stalinist. Moderate voters thought they were voting for a centrist that would bring us together. Black voters thought they were voting for one of them and those wary of government thought they were voting for a fresh-faced outsider. He’s turning out to be none of those things. Obama represented a completely different candidate to every voter but offered no real substance to assure them of their assumptions.

The truth is, of course, that he cannot be all of those things. He is bound to disappoint some or even all of them. And right now we are beginning to see folks on the far left like Anne Lamott coming to the realization that they didn’t elect a revolutionary, a person that would tear down the entire country in a matter of weeks and rebuild it as the communist state of their dreams. And they are starting to worry that they’ve been had.

The question is, what are the un-American, extremist, leftists that pushed for Obama so hard going to do when their disappointment becomes concrete instead of the just dawning, gauzy suspicion it is now? It could be messy, don’t you think?

Pop some popcorn and settle in for a great show if this continues.


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