Finally, Someone Defends The American Everyman..And It’s Not Joe The Plumber

25 Oct, 2008 by Melissa Clouthier

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Iowahawk once again captures the anger and frustration of average American voters fed up with the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy that’s trying to keep Bill down (not THAT Bill–although he was persecuted something awful, too, which was just a sign of the cryptofascistracists who hate horny, middle-aged white men. I mean he is white and an alpha male. It’s not like he could help it.):

Every time I turn on the internet these days, it seems like another right wing blogger is digging up more baloney on Professor Bill Ayers. Apparently these people would rather talk about Bill Ayers’ passionate youthful rambunctiousness than the issues that really matter to us, like Sarah Palin’s shoe bill. Well, I’ve got a message for you, Mister Google cache McCarthy fascist: I’m mad as H-E-double sippy straws, and I’m not going to take it any more. No longer will not remain silent while you smear and slur this great America-hating American with his own quotes. Hear me now: when you mess with Bill Ayers, you’re messing with me.

Because I AM BILL.

I AM BILL. I am the everyday forgotten little guy in your neighborhood, the quiet anarcho-syndicalist family man who gets up early and punches the clock at the local state university, writing the manifestos and polemics and grant proposals that keep America humming. I’m just doing my job, and all I ask in return is a little respect. And tenure. And Chicago Citizen of the Year awards. And two graduate assistants to grade exams for Practicum in Imperialist Racist Hegemony 311, because I’m teaching two sections this semester. Also, a sabbatical to Italy next summer would be nice.

I AM BILL. I grew up in a simple little gated community just like yours, with white picket fences and where all the aux pairs and gardeners know your name. When my dad came home from a hard day’s work as a CEO, he was never too tired to help me with my homework or tousle my hair for winning the Lake Forest Academy essay contest on Hegelian Dialectics. Yes, he was a simpleminded bourgeois technocrat of the capitalist war machine, but he made sure I got the tuition and tutors and sailing lessons and allowance I needed to make it on my own. I wish he was still alive so I could tell him how much I really planned to kill him last.

There is much more from Iowahawk. Without this fairness, Bill Ayers would be just another persecuted liberal. And we don’t even have the Fairness Doctrine yet.

Cross-posted at MelissaClouthier.com