Godwin’s Law As Applied To Naming Your Children

18 Dec, 2008 by John Hawkins

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Oh yeah, any kid raised in this household has a really bright future,

This Hitler youth is blond-haired, blue-eyed and just turned three.

Adolf Hitler Campbell is the middle child of three kids given Nazi-themed names by their parents, including a dad who denies the Holocaust occurred and decorates his home with swastikas.

“They’re just names, you know,” father Heath Campbell told the Easton Express-Times. “Yeah, they (the Nazis) were bad people back then. But my kids are little. They’re not going to grow up like that.”

Adolf has two sisters, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie. The latter, just eight months old, was named for Nazi leader Heinrich Himmler.

The bizarre names came to public attention after a local ShopRite declined to provide the Holland Township, N.J., family with a cake inscribed “Happy Birthday Adolf Hitler.”

“Other kids get their cake,” Campbell complained. “I get a hard time. It’s not fair to my children. How can a name be offensive?”

The kids are growing up in a home festooned with a swastika in every room. The father wears boots that once belonged to a Nazi soldier, and claims a relative was a member of Hitler’s feared Schutzstaffel.

Trust me, if the kid’s actual name is “Adolf Hitler Campbell,” he has much, much bigger problems than not getting his Happy Birthday cake.

PS: What would you say the over/under is on one or more of these kids ending up on the equivalent of Jerry Springer in 20 years, where they’ll be telling stories about their loopy, racist parents that would absolutely blow your mind?

Hat tip to Cassy Fiano for the story.