I Voted Today…

I headed over to the local polling place today, where it was a madhouse — or maybe it just seemed that way because some idiot blocked my car out in the road for about two minutes while he maneuvered his truck around to get a campaign sign on the side of his vehicle facing the road.

After I got out, a very pretty, polite teenage girl asked me if I’d like a list of Republican judges. I thanked her and took the list.

Then a very nice, middle aged woman politely asked me if I’d like a list of Democratic judges as well. I then told her that people like her were what’s wrong with this country and that if she was supporting Barack Obama, she should grab him, all of her friends, and go to Canada where they appreciated Commies like her.

By then, a crowd had started to gather and things started to get ugly. One of the bubbas shouted “Get the Democrat…” — no, just kidding =D C’mon, this is North Carolina — we’re polite to each other here. Actually, the lady asked if I would also like a list of Democratic judges and I said, “No thank you, ma’m” and she cheerfully said, “I’m glad to have you here voting,” or some other impossibly nice inanity, and then I went in.

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Even though this is out in the sticks, the polling place was extremely well organized. I came in, they found my name and address (and it was the real one, as opposed to Mickey Mouse living at a park bench, like it would have been if I had been registered by ACORN in Ohio) and they had someone take me over to vote.

In my area, we use iVotronics, which I think are fab machines. In real time, as you vote, you see your response actually printed out on paper in front of you. In fact, after I voted for Palin/McCain, just to see what would happen, I switched my vote to Barr. The paper portion said McCain vote cancelled, vote for Barr. Then, I switched it back and it recorded that as well, on paper, in real time.


That being said, the machines were idiot proof, but as I know from my days of doing tech support, not quite idiot proof enough. For example, if you chose a “straight ticket,” it didn’t include your vote for President. They told me that up front and I am sure they tell other people as well, but a lot of people are idiots. I fully expect that at least 1 out of every 100 people in my area won’t record a vote for President for exactly that reason — which is good, because they’re probably really dumb people anyway.

At the end, the machine also has you check over your answers, and then confirm again. Once more, that is incredibly simple for the average person, but one step too many for a percentage of the blithering idiots.

You’re probably thinking, “John, c’mon, who could screw that up?” Take it from a guy who has talked to people in tech support who have asked how to double click on things, if he made a mistake by putting his hard drive in the dish washer, and said she “saved space” by deleting all the files that end with .dll — there are a lot of really, really, dumb people out there.

For that reason, I might have simplified the voting machine even further although it was so uncomplicated an 8 year old child could have understood it as is (And, yes, honestly, I have asked some adults if they could put their child on the phone and, yes, I was able to fix the problem on their computer by talking to the child because the kid could follow basic instructions).

PS: Yes, I voted for Palin and McCain and I hope you do, too.

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