Week-End Humor

20 Sep, 2002 by John Hawkins

Print this article Font size -16+

Week-End Humor: I’m taking the week-end off but before I go, I wanted to give you a little satire to laugh at over the week-end…

Scrappleface chimes in on the comparison of Bush to Hitler by Gerhard Schroeder’s justice minister…

“Daubler-Gmelin said she was encouraged that her praise of Bush had elicited such a rapid and positive response.

“Hitler was the most wise, beloved and popular leader the German people have ever known,” she said. “Bush is a genius for using one of his tactics. Like I said, it’s a classic, and the German people are embracing him for it. If only Bush were a German citizen, I’m sure he would quickly become Chancellor.”

The Chortler has a possible solution to the voting problems in Florida…

“Fearing a repeat of 2000’s “dimpled chad” recount fiasco and the recent confusion during the state’s primary elections, Florida officials asked both Fisher-Price and Playskool to submit proposals on how they would eliminate the guesswork from the voting process.

Playskool’s plan was based upon its popular Poundin’ Bedbugs toy. This system, however, in which a vote would be cast by pounding the plastic head of the candidate of choice with a small hammer, was rejected on the grounds that it would be far too complex for most Florida voters.”

Tim Blair has a great idea for a “United Nations Statue”…

“My suggestion: a gigantic statue of Robert Mugabe ordering Zimbabwean farmers to flee or be killed while UN supplicants applaud. It would be a reverse Statue of Liberty, serving to remind humanity of the values we oppose.”

Last but not least, The Schmews says Microsoft XP has a new ‘war against terror’ upgrade…

“One beta tester, Hugh Lansbury from Eugene, claims he was shocked at some of the suggestions offered by his version of Word.

“I was happily writing a passage about the impact of John Lennon on the peace movement and hit the spell-checker when all of a sudden, the paperclip highlighted the word peace and suggested that “only regime change in Iraq could bring peace.” It freaked me out, so I quickly typed a passage about the failings of unilateral action when up he popped again and suggested that “unpatriotic prose is a disease and perhaps I should rephrase my paragraph”