A Quasi-Movie Review Of ’28 Days Later’

A Quasi-Movie Review Of ’28 Days Later’: There were two things that jumped out at me about ’28 Days Later’ — a film right out “Night of the Living Dead” school of horror.

The movie starts off with some animal rights whackos breaking into a lab and freeing a virus infected monkey. That monkey then proceeded to maul one of the whackos, thereby giving her a deadly virus and starting a chain of events that leads to almost every living person in Britain being wiped out. Can’t you just see someone in PETA or ALF being dumb enough release some disease ridden monkey of death into the world?

On the other hand, I have to admit I did enjoy watching the monkey pound the animal rights nut. In fact, can I make a suggestion to the people at FOX? Put together an entire show filled with nothing but people who are into animal rights being attacked by animals. Just imagine a long narrow hallway with a litter full of baby wolverines on one end, an angry mother wolverine on the other and someone from the Animal Liberation Front in the middle.Then FOX could have a saucy British host who said things like, “It looks like that wolverine gave you a little nip, eh governor? I guess she didn’t get your last newsletter. That’ll teach you to be such an animal rights wanker!” We might not be able to get by with creating a show like that in the states, but they could do it Japan and call it “The Happy Crazy Animal Irony show”. Wouldn’t you tune in to see what happens? I know I would.

The other thing that jumped out at me was that when the main protagonist (Jim) wakes up 28 days after the initial infection, there’s barely an uninfected person in all of Britain — and no wonder. If the infected people bite you, or get blood in your mouth, eyes, or in a wound, you’re done for. So it’s of the utmost importance that none of them get near you. However, the Brits have no guns so they’re fighting these things with Molotov cocktails, bats, & machetes. No wonder they all died!

Now if this movie would have taken place in America, Jim would’ve woken up 28 days later and this would have happened…

Jim: What’s going on?

Nurse: You were unconscious for 28 days.

Jim: Really? Did anything important happen?

Nurse: Oh yes! There was this horrible infection going around that turned people into living dead killers! One bite and you’re raving madman with red eyes — desperate to kill everyone around you!

Jim: OMG! Is anyone left alive or is America nothing but a giant ghost town?

Nurse: Oh no — things are fine — everyone who was infected was quickly shot to death. It killed less people than the flu did last year. Terrible thing though.

See what I’m saying? There wouldn’t have been a movie if this had taken place in America. Of course, no nation in the world has a populace better prepared to survive an assault by zombies, the living dead, or virus infected psychos than the United States — so you Brits shouldn’t feel bad.

Oh — and the movie wasn’t too shabby either– it was scary & cool and…ehr…stuff. Thumbs up!

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