A Review Of “Team America: World Police”

Do you want to know the moment I knew I was going to go see ” Team America: World Police” at the theater? It was when I heard that in the movie, Kim Jong-Il dumped that prattling Euroweenie Hans Blix into a shark tank. You know why? Because any movie that considers Blix irritating enough to be dumped into a shark tank and is smart enough to figure out that Kim Jong-Il would have no problem actually doing it if he could get away with it, is a film that at least in the larger sense, likely has a good grasp of the war on terrorism.

And after watching “Team America: World Police,” I can tell you that this is a dream movie for South Park Republicans who support fighting the war on terrorism & love to watch liberals being mocked mercilessly, but who also aren’t all that offended by obscenity and well…puppet boinking =D

The movie opens with “Team America” showing up in France to eradicate Muslim terrorists (yes, they didn’t chicken out and replace them with Europeans like so many other movies have done) who’re planning to detonate WMDs in France. In the process of wiping out the terrorists, an oblivious Team America also obliterates the Eiffel Tower, the Arc d’Triomphe, and the Louvre. I think that’s supposed to be the obligatory jab towards conservatives to even things out, but personally it just reminded me of when our planes “accidentally” ** cough cough ** blew up the French embassy while we were bombing Libya back in the Reagan administration .

Anyway, the bad guys in this movie are Kim Jong-Il, hordes of nameless terrorists, and clueless liberals like Alec Baldwin, Tim Robbins, Susan Sarandon, Sean Penn, Danny Glover, Janeane Garofalo who are all part of the “Film Actors Guild”. Kim Jong-Il plots to blow up the world w/ the aid of the terrorists and the actors, because of their rabid hatred of America and naivete, unwittingly aid him in his plot.

Incidentally folks, judging by the audience at the theater where I saw the movie, we conservatives aren’t the only ones who find the politicking of these dimwitted, celebrity, liberals to be annoying. Each time a celebrity was blown away, the audience LAUGHED and at one point (I don’t want to give too much away), when a particular celebrity was machine gunned out of a window to her death, the audience actually APPLAUDED.

But, I don’t want to give you the idea that I liked the movie just because it favored “my side” politically. This was one of…wait, that’s not good enough…this was “THE”, funniest movie I’ve ever seen. I kid you not — during this movie I laughed out loud time and time again. As a matter of fact, I laughed so hard that my eyes actually teared up 2 or 3 times. At one point, I had to actually STOP MYSELF from laughing because I was guffawing so loudly at how a particular character looked (when Gary was going to try to “act” his way into the terrorist hideout in Egypt) that I thought people might turn around and look at me. I shouldn’t have worried about it, because from what I could tell, the rest of audience was laughing just as much as I was.

But what was so funny? The music for one thing. If you’re like me, you will be singing “America, F**k Yeah” to yourself when you leave the theater. Furthermore, while using puppets would seem to be a huge weakness for the film, there was so much superb physical comedy in the film that relied on the jerky movements of the puppets that the fact puppets were used was a big PLUS, not a minus. A prime example of that was the super raunchy puppet sex scene, which was breathtakingly hilarious because it featured two puppets going at it like porn stars. Then there was the gut-busting dialogue, which even featured a pretty good basic — although crude & scatological — explanation of the role liberals, conservatives, and thugs like Kim Jong-Il play in the war on terrorism.

So the movie is incredibly funny, but will it be a box office smash? That’s hard to say. I mean, never before has there been a crude comedy featuring puppets that takes a hawkishly conservative view of foreign policy and ruthlessly mocks self-important Hollywood liberals as useful idiots for a poofy haired, Commie, nutjob like Kim Jong-Il. So would the sort of conservative who would enjoy watching a club full of terrorists get wiped out also think it was hilarious to watch a puppet vomit? That’s a question for the ages =D However personally, on a scale of 1-10, I’d give this movie a 14. It’s “Something About Mary” + “Clerks” + “Southpark: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut” all rolled into one side-splitting package. So let’s just call it a thumbs up so high that it’s scraping the ceiling….

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