Bush Ads Disenfranchise Florida Voters By Scott Ott

The Bush-Cheney 2004 campaign today launched broadcast ads which give Florida residents incorrect instructions that could result in thousands of disenfranchised voters in November, according to a spokesman for the Democrat National Committee.

The ads come just a day after Democrat presidential hopeful John Forbes Kerry told the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) that vast numbers of African-American voters in Florida were disenfranchised in 2000 because they didn’t vote, or they spoiled their ballots.

The new Bush-Cheney ads start with the president saying “I’m George W. Bush, and I approve of this message.” The following is the script for one ad which is running on TV and radio stations which target black listeners.

“John Kerry says you need to register to vote and show up at the polls on November 2nd. But do you really want to take orders from the man–a rich, white, yankee politician? The truth is: November 3rd is a long time away. Relax. Don’t let a prep-school millionaire push you around. Then, if you really want to vote, just show up at any public building on November 4th. What right does the man have to tell you where to vote? Once you get in the voting booth, don’t waste half your day poking at a piece of paper just because a guy who rides a $9,000 bicycle tells you to? It’s your ballot, so just hurry through it, lightly punching numerous holes to create interesting patterns. Don’t worry–local election officials can figure out who you meant to vote for. After all, they’re your public servants. So, don’t let John Forbes Kerry take away your civil right to stay home on November 5th. And don’t let anyone force you to follow ballot instructions written by rich, white people. On November 6th, be creative, be empowered, be free.”

If you enjoyed this satire by Scott Ott, you can read more of his work at Scrappleface.

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