CBS Reveals Copies of Kerry Senate Documents By Scott Ott

CBS reporter Dan Rather plans to reveal copies of documents on tonight’s Evening News that demonstrate that John Forbes Kerry may have sought to evade service in the U.S. Senate due to his privileged position as a presidential candidate.

The documents, all dated within the past year, show a record of scores of missed votes and missed committee hearings. In addition, copies of payroll records appear to indicate that Mr. Kerry continued to draw his senate salary during the time of his absense, according to an unnamed CBS source.

Mr. Kerry responded to the allegations by saying, “Is there any American who still trusts Dan Rather?”

“Mr. Rather is a Texan like President Bush,” said Mr. Kerry. “This is just another mean-spirited partisan attack orchestrated by Karl Rove with the cooperation of the biased media. Mr. Bush doesn’t want to talk about substantive issues, like how I defended this country as a young man in Vietnam.”

Trending: The 15 Best Conservative News Sites On The Internet

If you enjoyed this satire by Scott Ott, you can read more of his work at Scrappleface.

Share this!

Enjoy reading? Share it with your friends!