Don’t let little Timmy fall down, because that would be a CATASTROPHE!

17 Jul, 2008 by Cassy Fiano

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When I was a kid, I got hurt a lot. Not as much as my brother did, but I swear to you it seemed that my knees were always scabbed and I always had scrapes and bruises everywhere. My brother was even worse. It’s a miracle we both escaped with no broken bones. I always thought this was a normal part of growing up: falling off of bikes, out of trees, tripping on the playground… it was a good thing, unless you want your kid to be a little pansy who’s terrified of bumping into the sofa on his way to bed.

And apparently, that’s exactly what the educrats at the John F. Kennedy Primary School in Washington (the U.K.) are aiming for. Sack races and three-legged races have been banned because… children could fall down. And we all know, that would be a CATASTROPHE.

The sack race and three-legged race have been banned from a school sports day because the children might fall over and hurt themselves.

Parents and campaigners described the move as “completely over the top”. Teachers at John F. Kennedy Primary School in Washington dropped the events after discussions with Beamish Open Air Museum, where the Edwardian-themed sports day is being held today.

About 375 children are dressing up in period costume for the event. Running, hopping and throwing table-tennis balls into buckets will be allowed.

Laura Midgley, founder of the Campaign Against Political Correctness, said: “It’s health and safety rules gone mad. I think it’s completely over the top. The worst thing that could possibly happen is the children fall over.”

Simon Woolley, head of education at Beamish in Co Durham, said: “We looked at a three-legged race and a sack race but what we want to do is minimise the risk to the children. We thought we would be better to do hopping and running instead because there was less chance of them falling over.”

Now, someone explain to me what the big deal is about a kid falling over. Please, make me understand because I just don’t get it. The nannyfication of that country must be near complete for the madness to have gotten this out of hand. I mean, for heaven’s sake. Maybe from now on we should just have all children only leave the house if they’re clad in their protective bubble, a la John Travolta. Will that finally satisfy the terrified parents who will stop at nothing until the pansification of our children is complete?

Hat Tip: Wizbang