Fat People Cause Global Warming

If you’re packing extra pounds, I hope you’re pleased with yourself for what you’ve done to the flourishing but officially threatened polar bears. British scientists have managed to link what moonbats regard as the two greatest crises facing their country: the global warming farce and the fact that not everyone’s weight conforms to official expectations.

Overweight people use up more fuel for transport and consume more food, thereby producing more dreaded carbon emissions. They also contribute to the food shortage (caused largely by biofuels) and the oil shortage (caused largely by drilling restrictions).

The researchers used models to discover that 40% of the global population is obese. Anything is possible with scientific models, which also predict chaos and destruction as a result of the imaginary global warming crisis.

We had better put the U.N. in charge of each human being’s daily calorie intake, before obese people reach 101% of the population, and scientific models predict the Earth’s crust collapsing beneath their weight.

On a tip from Ian from the EUSSR. Cross-posted at Moonbattery.

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