How The Left Believes Al-Qaeda Works By Perry Bullock

Judging by how non-seriously the left treats the threat of terrorism, you almost have to wonder if this is how liberals believe that Al-Qaeda works like this…

Date: October 1st, 1999
From: Osama Bin Laden, C.E.O, AQI
To: Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, C.O.O, AQI
Re: North American Project

I received your request for your North American project and according to my recollections, we discussed whether the operation would be feasible.

Our legal department has gone over all of the pre-planning and, at this time, there is a concern that the plan might violate the Geneva Conventions. As the legal department stated, we must do every thing earthy possible to comply with the Geneva Conventions, even though we are not a signatory. It just would be wrong to do otherwise.

Also, it appears that the crew that you have for this operation includes 15 Saudis. This too may cause a problem with the Equal Opportunity Commission. The Equal Opportunity Commission hiring guidelines clearly state that “…any terrorist operations equal or in excess of four planes, must have a mixed crew of 25% Chechnyans, 25% Palestinians, 25% Syrians, and a minimum of 10% Afghanis.” Also, they are pressing us to use more women.

I am also concerned that using four planes might cause the American people to really dislike us, especially if we strike around Christmas or Easter, and it’s very important to try to win their hearts and minds.

Furthermore, the finance department said that the four plane option might cause a slight operational deficit, and our backers are concerned that our grandchildren might have to pay for the operation. There are also reports that the required funding documentation has not been properly filed out.

We have several options are our disposal. We could warn the people of New York, DC, and LA and give them time to flee before the planes hit. But this would complicate matters, in that this may seriously hinder the effectiveness of the operation.

Therefore, the board has determined that the operation be put on hold until a solution can be found.

One suggestion from one of our stockholders, MA, suggested that we simply try to talk things out if Al Gore wins the election. We will have no choice but to go through with the operation if George Bush wins, because he’s obviously an evil, Nazi-loving, chimp who will grab all the Middle-Eastern oil. But, Al Gore will understand that Gandhi was right when he said, “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind”. Him, we can talk too.

I want your comments on my desk before the Ramadan Holiday, so that I can get to it when I get back from vacation. Let us pray to Allah that Al Gore wins so that we do not have to perpetuate the cycle of violence.

Yours Truly

Osama Bin Laden

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