I Get Letters: I’m Talking ‘Bout A Revolution

Today, I received an email from someone named Tony Sloane. Here’s the email in its entirety.

The time is coming when the poorer class will rise up to take what they rightfully desearve. Places like Wal-mart, IBM, sprint as well as credit agencies that take advantage of the lower class will feel the brunt of the lower classes anger..

This country has turned its citizens into economic slaves and modern day serfs. The poor outnumber the rich by the millions if something is not done to curb the greed that has infested this country then they will fight back.

My generation has had enough. Myself and many others are at the point to pick up arms to bring justice and true equality to the people.

I suggest that many corporations and government agancies take a serious look at their citizens. Lower economic class citizens have been complacent for a long time entertained by television and mass media but no more. The french elite did not believe it would happen but it did. All it will take is a catalyst right now the cauldron is bubbling and is ready to boil over.

We have taken advantage of the poor by using our laws to strip them of any economic power. Our banks slam lower class citizens with fees since they cant effectively fight back. Companies are finding ways to avoid benefits and hire foreign labor; which is in essence looking for the most desperate worker they can so they can pay them the least. This letter should be a sign to many. I am not young or unsuccessful but I would take up arms and stand side to side to give this country to its rightful owners; the people. Corporations, credit agencies, and the wealthy will no longer hold sway over so many. Its over for them, their beliefs and everything they stand for.

Justice and freedom from the economic stranglehold of the wealthy is coming……soon.

Hey Tony, baby, comrade, you forgot to add, “Viva la communism!” at the end of your unhinged rant. Now normally, that probably wouldn’t be necessary for you because if people could see you in person, they’d notice your trendy Che shirt and the copy of Mao’s Little Red Book under your arm.

But, this is the internet and since you didn’t send a pic…hey, wait a second, Robespierre, how can you afford to be on the internet if you’re so poor and exploited? I mean, if you can afford a computer and an internet connection, you’re probably not Jean Valjean, stealing loaves of bread to feed your family. Oh wait, I forgot, Tony says he’s not “unsuccessful.” But, how could that have happened in mean, old, unfair America?

Furthermore, does the reference to the French Revolution really make sense? As we’ve found out since then, the French just really enjoy rioting. Look the Muslim mini-intifada against the dreaded European automobile and the French college kids throwing a fit in the streets because they want jobs for life. Do you know what it means when France is a seething caldron of rage and there are riots and protests in the street? It means that it’s Friday or Saturday or Thursday. When it comes to the French, every day is a good day to protest.

May I add that you should save these, “Revolution are near,” emails for when times are really bad? The economy has been surging since 2003 and the unemployment rate is 4.7%. So, if poor people are heading to Wal-Mart or Sprint, it’s going to be with a checkbook, not torches and pitchforks.

So, Tony, give up this shtick or, better yet, move to one of these fantastic countries where they’ve already had the, “big revolution,” like Cuba. I’m sure they’re much more compassionate and caring there and they’ll be happy to share their mud soup with you while everyone prays for Fidel to finally keel over. Then maybe you’ll be spared having to “take up arms” against your own country, you kook.

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