John Hawkins, Political Gun For

John Hawkins, Political Gun For Hire #2: The Republican National Committee needs to go on the offense on these business scandals instead of letting the Democrats control the tempo. Something like this would be good…

(Scene 1: Commercial stars with old man who looks like typical grandfather sitting in a chair with his head in his hands. Old woman who looks like typical grandmother walks in)

Grandmother: Honey, what’s wrong?

Grandfather: The Democrats are talking down the stock market again and everyone knows their new anti-business legislation would be a disaster, so the bottom is falling out of the market. We’ve lost thousands of dollars in the last few weeks. I guess..I guess…I’ll have to go back to work.

Grandmother: With your heart condition? Oh honey, how can the Democrats do this to you? (Starts to sniffle)


(Scene 2: Stockbroker is talking to middle aged couple)

Stockbroker: Investors lost their confidence after the Democrats went on TV every day making a mountain out of a molehill over these accounting scandals. And the legislation they’re pushing? It would send the market into a permanent tailspin. It’d be like the depression all over again if the Democrats got it passed. Everyone is scared to put money in the market because of that…

Woman: But we saved our whole life to buy that house, it’s not fair that we’re going to lose it because the Democrats need an issue for the election.

Stockbroker: Are you sure there’s no way you can hold out until after November? The market should start going up again then, especially if the Republicans take control of the Senate.

Man: We need that money soon or our home will be gone. Don’t you think there’s any chance the market will be back up before November?

Stockbroker: (Bites his lip and looks away) I’m sorry, but the Democrats need to kill the market. I hate to tell you this, I think it may get worse if the Democrats have their way….


(Scene 3: Woman is driving down a pitch black road in the middle of nowhere in her SUV with 3 kids in it. Car engine sounds horrible.)

Five Year Old Little Girl: Mommy, mommy, what’s wrong?

Mother: The car isn’t working right honey. I don’t think it’ll go much further.

Twelve Year Old Little Boy: Mom, I thought you and dad were going to get a new car a couple of weeks ago?

Mother: We were son. But it’s an election year and so the Democrats are trying to destroy the stock market by talking endlessly about accounting scandals. The more the stock market drops, the better the Democrats think they’ll do in the election. But we lost so much money that we couldn’t afford to buy a new car…(Engine makes grinding noise and car slows down as headlights start to dim)

Five Year Old Little Girl: Mommy, I’m scared!

Mother: Don’t worry honey, It’ll be Ok…(mom has frightened look on her face as the scene fades into darkness)


(Voice speaks over vote Republican in 2002 image) Tell your Democratic Congressman that it’s not right for them to try to destroy the stock market and take money out of YOUR pocket in an effort to win an election. In 2002, vote Republican; we’re for tax cuts, vouchers, and sensible accounting reform…things that will put money back in your pocket.)

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