Mayor OKs Monopoly Money for ‘Gay Licenses’ By Scott Ott

17 Feb, 2004 by John Hawkins

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San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom today declared that homosexuals applying for so-called marriage licenses at City Hall can pay the application fee with Monopoly money.

“For too long now,” said Mayor Newsom, “Monopoly money, and other counterfeit bills, have been treated as second-class currency. We are no longer captives to antiquated values based on majority opinions and legislation. Since I have power to override state and federal laws, I declare that Monopoly money is legal tender.”

A local jeweler in San Francisco immediately began advertising that his shop would also accept Monopoly money for his “full line of genuine pyrite wedding rings.”

If you enjoyed this satire by Scott Ott, you can read more of his work at Scrappleface.